Have you read If The Buddha Married? Well, if not, run out and get yourself a copy.
I was copying quotes out of it yesterday (one of my fave passtimes, now that I am having to get all my books from the library, and so I can't UNDERLINE, which is my most *fave* of all my fave passtimes - almost), and I came across this strange little chapter called Be Creative Together. I think maybe the author forgot it was there, because it was so profound, and yet she didn't elaborate on it at all, and I got the sense that it just came out of her pen through Divine Inspiration, but that just then the telephone must have rung. Oh well! In any case, I think it applies so very much to marriage, but also to being with your children. So I am going to share it with you, because that's the kind of person I am:
"When we set aside our egos and take on a project together, we enter into a process of creating something together that grows from the best of both of us. If it's an actual project - adding a porch, starting a garden, decorating a living room - we brainstorm all the possibilities or keep our mind on the shared goal. We build on each other's ideas. The conversation might include phrases such as: "Here's an idea." "What if we did this?" "Well, maybe if we combined these two ideas." It is the push and pull of ideas erupting and building on each other that help us to create something better than either of us could have done alone. "If you can join together in the "us" place, knowing that being creative together is more important than anyone being right or winning, you can add spark to your relationship. It doesn't matter if every leaf is raked perfectly, or if the dessert is a flop, or whether or not the new rosebush eventually looks like the picture on the package - it's that the two of you joined in stretching, exploring, and joining together to bring new life to the ordinary tasks of everyday living."
I think the reason this really struck me is because my husband and I have been doing a lot of collaborating on creative ideas in the past few weeks, and that process is creating a totally different relationship. I can see the same thing unfolding with my kids as I spend more time working alongside them, with no computer. And so I very much look forward to the group endeavours that are simmering on several burners right now.