Metamorphosis! And my Useful Children!

Nobody can say that this Dr. Seuss-type drawing by Ottar isn't pure genius!

Just look at the competency level of these kids! Please note screwdriver and broken CD player - Ezra was taking it apart when he was suddenly stricken with a craving for grilled cheese. Amazing!

Self-explanatory!

Well, besides the anti-computer revolution, more changes are happening like crazy. February was a month of transformation. . . I *knew* it was coming, because I consulted my tarot deck.

Anyway, more details later (I know, I always say that, but nobody calls me on it!), but in the meantime, I have to say that it has become increasingly clear to me that this stay-at-home-mom thing is no longer working for me. After a few neurotic fits where I considered (threatened?) to not only move away but also to start working full time (I am *still* fantasizing about a temp-to-perm job I had at a DT Minneapolis law firm. . . OMG it sounds so dreamy to me now - just mindless drudgery all day long, but surrounded by intelligent people - and they had a nice lunchroom, and gave overtime and paid like $14 an hour!) I have settled on instead focusing on figuring out how to put my "family business" plans into high gear.

What family business, you ask? Well . . . there are so many to choose from. But if you have an idea for me, throw it in the hat. I can't let any secrets out just yet. But something really dynamic needs to happen, and quickly, because I refuse to go through another winter like this! Plus, I've got two able-bodied children just hanging around all day long (not much to do in the winter in this town) and the older one is very talented at drawing, writing, and reading, and has a hankering to get a paper route. And the younger one is also very talented at drawing, though his drawings are hard to interpret as of yet. But he has buckloads of energy and some excellent organizational skills!

I Know Soulemama's Secret

The adventure begins!

The careful collection of sticks.

Ezra shows off his stick-breaking abilities.

Nonie always accompanies us on our neighborhood outings!

This is the [very delayed - as today there is a blizzard outside our window!] first of a series of days wherein I pretend to be Soulemama. Why? Because everyone always says Soulemama makes them feel guilty and inadequate, and that they can't do that much cool stuff and have that much amazing fun with their kids.

Well, folks, I know her secret. And I will tell it to you.

The secret is the camera.

Ok, I have only a scruffy little cheap digital hardly-any-megapixel camera that is actually my husband's - and he takes it with him to work most days.

BUT. . .

Next time you're feeling blue, just try this: Take your kids out somewhere, and bring your camera along. Lonely? No. . . you can't be because you know that everything you are doing is now ART. And it will make you feel like SOMEBODY SPECIAL when you post about it on your blog. No matter if your kids are not wearing cute, handmade clothes. . . although all the better if they are! Of course you must make sure you are doing something outdoorsy and natural. . . or possibly, crafty.

Please notice how taking the pictures above totally changed my mood. The truth is, we went out "stick-finding" only because I thought I was going to lose my mind if I stayed in the house for one more second with my kids. But as soon as we got going and I made it into a photo safari, the whole thing became festive and even slightly hilarious.

Thank you, Soulemama, for raising my Vibe.

Stress, Money, and Unschooling

Well, well, well. It seems that the "recession" is finally affecting us. Not only did my husband have to take an out-of-state job he is totally overqualified and underpaid for, but now he's got a 2-month space between jobs, is ineligible for unemployment, and we have no insurance and a son who likely has Lyme disease. With the upcoming move to Wisconsin almost upon us, I feel like quoting an excellent book I just read, called Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain by Sharon Begley:

It has been well documented that adversity ratchets up parents' levels of anxiety. Worries about being unemployed, about losing housing, about where the next meal is coming from do nothing good for parental care. To the contrary, the anxiety and depression that trying conditions induce tend to make parents harsh and inconsistent disciplinarians, even neglectful and abusive. (This is not to say that all parents who live in poverty, in illness, or in dangerous conditions react this way). This is precisely the kind of parenting that can enhance a child's stress reactivity, explains Meaney: "The anxiety of the parents is transmitted to the children." Being poor, jobless, or homeless induces a physiological stress response in adults, which is somehow transmitted to the children. Although that "Somehow" remains to be worked out in detail. Meaney's two decades of studies on how maternal behavior in rats influences the temperament of their offspring points in one direction: parental behavior may alter the expression of genes in their children. In this way, says Meaney, "the effects of poverty on emotional and intellectual development in children are mediated by the parent."

Really, I just like this quote because it makes me feel better because a. it makes me feel like it's NO WONDER I'm stressed and crabby with the kids sometimes. And b. it reminds me of why I have no interest in living hand-to-mouth anymore. That was okay for the last fifteen years, but I'm all done with that now, thank you.

Last summer we were homeless, somewhat voluntarily, but it wasn't until the last few weeks, when we really didn't know where we were going to go next, that we suspected it might be affecting the kids in a negative way. Of course so much depends on the perceptions of the parents. I intend to ride this "problem" out smoothly. I've got a good handle on the packing, and although we have not signed a lease for our new place, we have a good feeling about it. And it looks like I'll be going back to work one way or another, and that's okay, too. Kind of exciting, really.

I don't really feel like writing about unschooling today, because first and foremost on my mind is "how on earth are we going to pay rent?" But maybe that's an extracurricular lesson in itself. If I have a good attitude about it, I could even discuss it with my six-year-old. Having read Rich Dad, Poor Dad (with an open mind), I think it might be a fun activity for us to brainstorm ways to come up with the $3500 we think we will need over the next two months. Fun, fun, fun!