Parents & Kids

"It's painful to think that we know what's best for our children. It's hopeless."

Well, there it is, the most confounding Byron Katie quote ever. But it's so true, and yet I have not accepted it, as anyone could see by watching me live.

Anyway, I try to keep this in mind when I'm thinking Ezra is making the wrong choice by waiting in the car instead of coming in somewhere, or when he would rather stay inside than go outside to play, or when he is dying to watch a space shuttle video on YouTube. And I feel like he's watched too many already.

But, of course I really have no idea who he is going to become.

A few years ago, when I was depressed and had been for a long time, the thought suddenly popped into my head, "I could be a cartoonist!" In that moment, my entire life up to that point suddenly made sense. Suddenly all the "struggle" and the seemingly pointless winding path I had taken was explained. I even got to be proud that I spent 6 hours a day, 5 days a week in junior high and high school doodling, daydreaming, and passing notes. Why, that is *just* what a cartoonist would do!

So often I think, we will look back on all of these things and realize that Ezra knew what was best for himself. Or, at least that's what Byron Katie would say, I think.

Onion Peels

Well, on a personal note, in my quest to find perfect happiness, I have made much progress lately. I just keep doing balances (Psych-K) and inquiry (The Work of Byron Katie) until I get over whatever comes up and bothers me. Last night I worked on a really big issue about my purpose in life - something that was blocking me from being able to enjoy being with my kids, or really from enjoying doing much of anything! What I had to do was release my "need" to really achieve something significant in life related to my creative talents.

What a relief! I awoke refreshed and relaxed (after having some strange symbolic dreams of me driving around in a blue 60s sportscar I got at the thrift store, which had also just been a donkey with a leg and an ear missing - I am quite sure this had something to do with the election (donkey, blue) but I haven't the faintest clue. . .)

Anyway, I was so busy today with spending time with a writer friend and her kids, and my son's NASA class, that I haven't had a chance to test out/bask in my newfound freedom. But I'm very excited! Next on my list is to release my "need" to own a lot of land for my kids to grow up on. This is quite essential because we are currently living in a loft and there isn't even a yard! This "need" has been eating me alive for five years. Can't wait to ditch it!

I must say, I don't know how anyone could unschool without the benefit of transformational psychology. The truth is I don't know of any unschoolers who don't use it!

By the way, about the election. . . I am SO EXCITED! Pinch me! Could this be America? Or is it Fairyland?