Unschooling is Dreamy!

Unschooling vs. Reality

2011-08-26T06:44:00.001-07:00

I've started telling strangers I'm a homeschooler. Why am I doing this? I guess because in the past year I've realized that the lifestyle I've been living isn't working, and I am desperate for more rhythm and structure, and the whole idea of having curriculum actually sounds like a relief. But what's funny is I know I could never really use curriculum, so what is my problem? I have no idea.

Anyway, the reactions I get to saying I'm a homeschooler are totally annoying, because the person always starts going on and on about curriculum packages and "when are you going to start?" and all this crazy stuff that you don't get into when you say you're an unschooler (usually when I said we were unschoolers I used to end up in an uplifting philosophical conversation about the way humans develop). But at least when I mumble something about dabbling in various kinds of curriculi (?) I don't have to betray the fact that I have been totally uninspired for the past year, as my life was dissassembled, brick by brick. And continues to be. So, stay tuned. I'm starting everything all over again, and it's sure to be a revolutionary fall one way or another.

The Well-Trained Mind vs. A Thomas Jefferson Education

2010-10-05T06:16:00.000-07:00

I have had a few friends ask me in the past couple of years, "What do you think of The Well-Trained Mind"? And I didn't know, and so I finally got it at the library. And now I can say: "Not much." Any book that uses the word "should" that many times (probably in the thousands) has no place in my life! Seriously - are they kidding? It is worth skimming every few years, as a reference, though, IMO, though anyone who is prone to getting neurotic over "shoulds" (this would include almost every parent I know) might do well to avoid it altogether.

Anyway, I have a few choice quotes to discuss. But first! I have to say, having also just re-read A Thomas Jefferson Education (which I lamely reviewed here), that TJEd is a *much, much* better book. It is an inspirational book, instead of a shaming and anxiety-producing book. TJEd gives me a framework, or in my case, more of a backdrop for unschooling. The Well-Trained Mind requires you to force a lot of things on yourself and your kid and I can't see how anyone could actually follow the program outlined in the book without being totally anal and joyless.

So. . . The Well-Trained Mind is overdue at the library so here is what I am going to quickly comment on this quote from the book:

"The pattern widens and deepens as the student matures and learns. For example, a first grader listens to you read the story of the Iliad from one of the picture-book versions available at any public library. . . Four years later, the fifth grader reads one of the popular middle-grade adaptions - Olivia Coolidge's The Trojan War, or Roger L. Green's The Tale of Troy. Four more years go by, and the ninth grader - faced with Homer's Iliad itself - plunges right in, undaunted. She already knows the story. What's to be scared of?"

I have included the above quote to contrast it with TJEd, which suggests that you always use the original, or classic version of every text to begin with. I like the TJEd idea, for sure. It makes intuitive sense. And also, I love the idea of reading a book to my kids first, and then as a special treat we get the video afterwards. But I am also intrigued by using the method above in certain cases - maybe like cases where *I* am scared to read something. . . like the Iliad. Which I know absolutely nothing about. So I got a kids' version at the library and we're going to read it and experiment with that approach. I think I will only be interested in using this step-by-step approach when it comes to very dense classics, because as a general rule I cannot stand "adaptations" for kids - usually I find them insulting to everyone's intelligence, and much less interesting, too.

Okay, and here's another quote I made a note of from A Well-Trained Mind:

"Every citizen in a democracy takes on responsibilities that were once reserved for the well-educated arisocratic segment of society. And every citizen, college-bound or not, should receive the type of education that will develop the life of the mind."

Ugh - there it is again - the word "should." It's an interesting point, though. But if I'm going to really believe in that, I am going to be a miserable person because that is most certainly NOT happening in America!

And here's another quote I marked:

"the study of art and music is a good late-afternoon or early-evening project."

See now I like it when people point out practical things like that. Late afternoon and early evening is such a bizarre time of day in U.S. society - there is always something off-kilter about it. Maybe if we start up the grill and get out the instruments, everything would fall into place. Seriously!

But here was something that annoyed me:

"Always begin with drawing, progress to painting, and finish up with modeling."

It annoys me because there is no evidence given as to why this should be so. Personally, I think modelling is a whole different ballgame altogether. It's in three dimensions. Why should anyone have to learn to draw something first before they pick up a piece of clay? Well, maybe I'm just bitter because I'm better at modelling than I am at drawing. If *only* I'd had someone force me to go through the steps of drawing, maybe I'd be better at it. Or. . . more likely. . . maybe I'd hate to draw?

In any case, A Thomas Jefferson Education is, in my humble opinion, a very superior book to A Well-Trained Mind. Because when I read it I got excited, and started reading classics right away - and because the author puts the responsibility of a good education on the parents educating themselves, and not forcing anything on their children. Which is the coolest thing ever.

Riverfront Living

2010-09-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

Today, the Mississippi started to rise so high that if it goes up a couple more feet, we are going to have a very wet basement. How exciting! One of the few (IMO) perks of renting is that if that happens, it's only my problem to the extent that my stuff down there, which already smells like mildew, will have to be moved upstairs. I am also happy to report that the landlord took over the front room of the basement with his stuff (and that is the only room that doesn't smell like mildew) but his will be the first to get wet if the river continues going up!

Anyway, it's very exciting living on the edge of one of the biggest rivers in the world.

Last year, when I was in the depths of situational depression (which felt like regular depression, but as I suspected it went away when I changed my situation by moving), a fabulous friend of mine sent me an awesome book called The Power Path, which among other great tips on how to gain power, recommends first and foremost going to nature, because it says all shamen know that you go to something more powerful than yourself to get power. For example, the Mississippi River. And I *do* feel much more powerful (a.k.a. happy) since we moved here. The river feeds my soul.

Anyway, it also happens to be a great place to live for unschooler kids, who have no shortage of things to watch going up and down the river. Plus there is a public fishing dock in our front yard, and a very busy train track out back. And even a drawbridge, which goes up and down several times a day in the summer months, can be seen by the edge of the property.

I sure do wish I could post photos, but Ottar broke the camera again. :(

Totally Harmonious Interactions

2010-09-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

I got really sick of myself recently, noticing how I started telling people over a year ago that "my kids don't really get along anymore." Finally it occurred to me that I don't even know if that's true. So I started paying attention to how often they *do* get along (which is actually still almost always) and sort of informally timing how long the fighting episodes last (which it turns out are usually about 1-2 minutes each, unless I intervene by shouting and threatening, which makes them each last about 20 minutes, plus I end up feeling like a total psycho.)

So, there you have it! Often things are just a matter of perception.

Another Great Unschooling Book Rec!

2010-09-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I've done it again - I've finished another great unschooling book. This one I stumbled upon in the library - I had never heard of it before. It's called Child's Work: Taking Children's Choices Seriously by Nancy Wallace, who was a close personal friend of John Holt's. It is basically a beautifully written account of one family's experience with unschooling two very talented children. But besides that it is chock full of great insights for the general public! Here are some choice quotes (I copied about 50 of them out of the book, but here are some of my faves):

. . . any time we decide to teach our children the things we are sure they can't learn from experience in the real world, we not only remove them from the very world they are trying so hard to understand, by creating artificial learning situations for them, but we imply that they are incompetent learners and need to rely on our greater expertise and knowledge in order to learn properly.

***

By reading within whole contexts, [my children] guessed at strange words in order to make sense of phrases and sentences. I know a nine-year-old girl who can read books like Stuart Little fluently, but still can't read random lists of words out of context with any degree of accuracy. (Hence, the school considers her unable to read because she does so poorly on their reading placement test, which is exactly that: random lists of words.)

***

Children who, as John Holt put it, "observe, wonder, find, or make and then test the answers to the questions they ask themselves" have no conscious sense of "wrong" because like scientists, they are involved in a continual process of moving closer towards what is right - of defining and redefining their views of the world.

***

Children lose interest in us as teachers as soon as we make ourselves mere passive conveyors of knowledge, like most teachers in school, who try not to reveal their own personal biases and passions for fear of unduly influencing their students and preventing them from learning to think objectively. But children want us to reveal ourselves to them. Just as important, they want and need to be able to reveal their own feelings, ideas, and personal biases to us.

Not Back to School!

2010-09-01T15:30:00.001-07:00

It's been a crazy summer, and I saw lots of yellow school buses out today. However, since we're NOT going back to school, our summer does not officially end until September 23! Just one of the many advantages of unschooling. . . plus we get to buy any "school supplies" and clothes after they've all been marked down. Joy!

In any case, I just love this time of year because I get so excited to think about various classes we can all take. On the menu (but not ordered yet) for fall are ninja classes for Ezra, Jiu Jitsu for Ezra and Papa, maybe "open build" art and science classes for both kids, swimming lessons for both kids, yoga for Mama (and hopefully kickboxing, too), possibly some Japanese tutoring for Ezra, and we shall see what else. Just waiting for that big paycheck to come in. . . the one we've been waiting for for weeks.

Right now Ezra, who is 7, is still really into martial arts. He's also teaching himself Japanese. Right now he's using a CD/book called Teach Me More. . . Japanese and he is in love with it! Both kids have also requested that I get them the Spanish version from the library. Ezra has also morphed over the spring and summer from being somewhat obsessed with The Civil War and guns, to moving on to submarines, and now he has expanded to be obsessed with World War II and the bombing of Pearl Harbor. He spends many hours every day drawing and building battleships, submarines, and aircraft carriers. He is also on a Jesse James kick and he and Ottar spent an entire afternoon last week re-enacting his death.

What I'm trying to work out now is creating a more structured life. As many of you avid fans may recall, I tried doing a schedule last winter (read here). Well, that crashed and burned immediately. I think it is because it was not the kind of thing that is true to my nature. In fact my whole life was untrue to my nature. But now that we're living on the river and close to the Twin Cities, let me start that over. That will be my topic for tomorrow.

Another Great Gatto Quote!

2010-08-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

I've been indulging myself and reading John Taylor Gatto stuff for the past hour. And I just came upon this gem from an article in Natural Life magazine:

Does going to school matter if it uses up the time you need to start a business, to learn to grow vegetables, to explore the world or make a dress? Or if it takes away time to love your family? What matters in a good life?
-John Taylor Gatto

A Nice Explanation of Unschooling

2010-06-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

Recently a relative asked me to explain the difference between homeschooling and unschooling. After I explained it, she still wasn't totally satisfied, but maybe wasn't sure why, so I told her I'd look around for some articles.

Here's a good one I found at the site of the Family Unschoolers Network. It explains the history of the terminology as well as the differences. With a slight bias towards unschooling, I suppose, but hey, I'm totally biased, too.

Robert Louis Stevenson Quote

2010-06-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

"Youth is the time to go flashing from one end of the world to the other in both mind and body; to try the manners of different nations; to hear the chimes at midnight; to see sunrise in town and country; to be converted at a revival; to circumnavigate the metaphysics, write halting verses, run a mile to see a fire, and wait all day in the theatre to applaud 'Hernani'."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Lame Crafts

2010-05-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

One thing I occasionally feel guilty about is that my kids are not having the quintessential American experience of getting to make silly, adult-led craft projects. Thank God, though, the local library was making these popsicle-stick birds one day while we were there, so that Ottar got to take pride in helping assemble an already-cut-out feather mass, an ice cream stick, a pre-colored cheerio (the librarian painted it before we got there) and 2 googley eyes.

It's things like these that my kids are going to look back on and think, "Wow, was that ever meaningful!" I'm sure of it.

It's pretty cute, though. I have to admit.

Blacksmithing!

2010-05-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

Ezra really wanted to take a blacksmithing class, but we missed the fall session at the local folk school. Finally we were able to get in to a class this spring that was actually meant for older kids, but the instructor, Robert, was willing to let Ezra take the class as long as I signed up, too, which I have to say I was overjoyed about. And for half price!

Anyway, it was really fun. A full day, and after our preliminary projects, Ezra let it be known that he would be really disappointed if he didn't come away with a dagger, like the one his friend and "faux cousin," Luka, had made in the same class the year before. So, Robert quickly showed us how to make a dagger and we both worked together on the project. In the end we made one that will eventually have a carved wooden handle, though Ezra loves his dagger so much that now he says he doesn't want one, but I'm sure he'll change his mind someday. I highly recommend this art form and this folk school - it was a great experience for us both, and I hope to do more blacksmithing in the future. Oh, I forgot to mention I made my own "S" hook, and I am very proud of it. Mine is the super fancy one just above of the dagger in the first photo (and *so* sorry these photos are in reverse order - one of these days I will remember how to upload photos correctly.)

Ottar's first cartoon!

2010-05-04T14:13:00.001-07:00

Ah! All this talk of family business and then finally my dream comes true where I am sitting and cartooning productively at a table *with my kids*. . . after all these years. Both the kids made amazing cartoons, but Ezra's is too big to scan (it's a story of him shooting Nerf guns with his friend Cody, very much influenced by Tintin). Anyway. . . hopefully a family cartooning business is in the works. . . but if not, we have plenty of other family business ideas up our sleeves, too.

Anyway, seeing as Ottar is only 3-1/2, I think we've got some real talent on our hands, if I do say so myself. Personally, I think he's already surpassed me.

And I'll post more of Ezra's work soon!

Good Morning America - Unschoolers Respond

2010-04-28T13:16:00.000-07:00

So I admit I've been under a rock for 2 weeks, but for those who were horrified by the Good Morning America piece on April 19, here's a nice list of response links collected by the Blog of the Zombie Princess.

Home School to Home Business?

2010-04-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

I'm also wondering if anyone out there has ever listened to this 14-CD set called Home School to Home Business? or anything else like it? I am dying to set up a *family-run* home business, and would love to get my hands on some inspirational information!

Out of a Rut

2010-04-28T10:34:00.001-07:00

I haven't posted much lately - things got even more chaotic for a while there, and Kenny went out of town for a long time and took the computer, and all kinds of other things.

The good news is that we have decided that we are not moving to the farm town where Kenny has been working. The neutral news is that we have no idea where we're going next, or when, or what either of us will be doing or what kind of place we'll be living in.

Hopefully this will be a big turning point in our lives - the point at which we finally got on board and started doing all the things we love to do, but have been putting off because we were too busy waiting for something else.

Awesome Book! By David Albert

2010-04-07T13:30:00.000-07:00

Well, after 6 years or more of being on this "unschooling journey" (with my child - before that I was on one with myself, but I didn't know it yet) I have finally been introduced to David Albert's book Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery.

Thanks to my sister, who has only been homeschooling for a few months.

I do not know how come none of my friends know about this book - or why the ones who do never mentioned it, but I must say it is a must-read!!

Very inspirational and funny. And it manages to be hard-hitting (doesn't beat around the bush about the government or the history of schools) while also being totally entertaining and fairly light-hearted.

I'm in a hurry, as usual. And those of you who know me know how I hate to review books in any useful way. I can just say, READ THIS BOOK!

Unschooling in Small Towns

2010-04-06T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, thankfully I had a revelation lately, one day when chatting with a new friend of mine, and we got to chatting about various towns in the Midwest that might be better for unschooling in, and Ashland, Wisconsin came up. Now I know that moving to Ashland would not solve all my problems, but a lightbulb when off in my head - aha! That is what is missing from my life! Outdoor recreation people/activities! And we've been looking at land for about 10 years, my husband and I, and we've almost exclusively looked in Southern WI and MN, because that is where he has been thinking he'd like to live, because there is great visibility for storm-watching, and there is no Lake Superior (one of my favorite things in the world) to "mess up" the weather.

So we went up to Ashland last weekend, just to see if I would feel more comfortable there, and the city itself definitely could use a little beautification, though not too much more than the one I'm in (Viroqua). But the exciting thing was that there were BIKE TRAILS. And there is a giant lake!! And a REAL COFFEE SHOP!!! Wow!!! And ads up for drumming, martial arts, outdoor recreation for children, and various other things I can't remember. But they were exciting.

Anyway, my revelation is that if I'm not going to be in a big city, I need to be in a town that at least offers the kinds of things I am passionate about. Duh, right? Well, I guess I didn't realize how un-passionate the rest of the U.S. population is about things like public gathering spaces and outdoor recreation. Thank God I have now seen the light. Now to figure out what I'm going to do about it.

Frugality Fun!

2010-03-26T09:00:00.001-07:00

Lots of unschoolers are living below, at, or just above the poverty level. Today I stumbled upon this fascinating site, meant for law students. Good tips! And it's helping me set up e-commerce on my (other) website, too!

5 Dangerous Things you should let your Kids Do

2010-03-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

Did I already post this? Well, in case not, here it is (sorry, I'm in a hurry!)

It's a TED video of "5 Dangerous Things you Should Let your Kids Do" from his book (?) called 50 Dangerous Things. . .

Thank God for Spring!!

2010-03-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah, spring is here! Suddenly everyone is coming out of their cocoons. If I didn't have so many things and people to remind me, I could almost forget that this winter was one of the most abominable periods of my life. And everyone else - people I barely even know - keep saying "that was a LONG winter!" even though it wasn't even that long - a few years ago (or was it last year) the winter went on until April!

Anyway, things are looking up. We still have no idea where we'll live or what we'll do with ourselves, but at least the kids are playing outside for long stretches of the day, and the sky is blue and the birds are singing and there are actually other children PLAYING on our block!!!

Please everyone hold me to this: I *must* find a way to travel for at *least* 2 months of next winter, especially if I am still in Southwestern Wisconsin! Don't let me forget!!!

"Be Creative Together"

2010-03-09T05:50:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of Ezra being creative *by himself*

Have you read If The Buddha Married? Well, if not, run out and get yourself a copy.

I was copying quotes out of it yesterday (one of my fave passtimes, now that I am having to get all my books from the library, and so I can't UNDERLINE, which is my most *fave* of all my fave passtimes - almost), and I came across this strange little chapter called Be Creative Together. I think maybe the author forgot it was there, because it was so profound, and yet she didn't elaborate on it at all, and I got the sense that it just came out of her pen through Divine Inspiration, but that just then the telephone must have rung. Oh well! In any case, I think it applies so very much to marriage, but also to being with your children. So I am going to share it with you, because that's the kind of person I am:

"When we set aside our egos and take on a project together, we enter into a process of creating something together that grows from the best of both of us. If it's an actual project - adding a porch, starting a garden, decorating a living room - we brainstorm all the possibilities or keep our mind on the shared goal. We build on each other's ideas. The conversation might include phrases such as: "Here's an idea." "What if we did this?" "Well, maybe if we combined these two ideas." It is the push and pull of ideas erupting and building on each other that help us to create something better than either of us could have done alone. "If you can join together in the "us" place, knowing that being creative together is more important than anyone being right or winning, you can add spark to your relationship. It doesn't matter if every leaf is raked perfectly, or if the dessert is a flop, or whether or not the new rosebush eventually looks like the picture on the package - it's that the two of you joined in stretching, exploring, and joining together to bring new life to the ordinary tasks of everyday living."

I think the reason this really struck me is because my husband and I have been doing a lot of collaborating on creative ideas in the past few weeks, and that process is creating a totally different relationship. I can see the same thing unfolding with my kids as I spend more time working alongside them, with no computer. And so I very much look forward to the group endeavours that are simmering on several burners right now.

Metamorphosis! And my Useful Children!

2010-03-07T11:48:00.000-08:00

Nobody can say that this Dr. Seuss-type drawing by Ottar isn't pure genius!

Just look at the competency level of these kids! Please note screwdriver and broken CD player - Ezra was taking it apart when he was suddenly stricken with a craving for grilled cheese. Amazing!

Self-explanatory!

Well, besides the anti-computer revolution, more changes are happening like crazy. February was a month of transformation. . . I *knew* it was coming, because I consulted my tarot deck.

Anyway, more details later (I know, I always say that, but nobody calls me on it!), but in the meantime, I have to say that it has become increasingly clear to me that this stay-at-home-mom thing is no longer working for me. After a few neurotic fits where I considered (threatened?) to not only move away but also to start working full time (I am *still* fantasizing about a temp-to-perm job I had at a DT Minneapolis law firm. . . OMG it sounds so dreamy to me now - just mindless drudgery all day long, but surrounded by intelligent people - and they had a nice lunchroom, and gave overtime and paid like $14 an hour!) I have settled on instead focusing on figuring out how to put my "family business" plans into high gear.

What family business, you ask? Well . . . there are so many to choose from. But if you have an idea for me, throw it in the hat. I can't let any secrets out just yet. But something really dynamic needs to happen, and quickly, because I refuse to go through another winter like this! Plus, I've got two able-bodied children just hanging around all day long (not much to do in the winter in this town) and the older one is very talented at drawing, writing, and reading, and has a hankering to get a paper route. And the younger one is also very talented at drawing, though his drawings are hard to interpret as of yet. But he has buckloads of energy and some excellent organizational skills!

Computerless Bliss!

2010-03-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

A tearjerking photo from the nirvanic, internet-free days of yore

Okay, forget all the other stuff I wrote about schedules, computers, youtube, etc. I have finally found the answer to all my problems! And I mean all my problems. Here it is: I set the parental controls on myself. Now I can't use the computer between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m. every day of the week, unless my husband and children are gone.

What this really means is I can use the computer about 5 minutes a week, unless my husband and children are gone.

My husband and children are never gone. Except today, because my dad and his girlfriend are in town. Which is why I'm able to deliver this life-changing post to you.

Of course there are drawbacks. . . getting behind on my blog, not being able to even pretend to work on my website. . . but the family harmony has been restored back to 2007 levels! Back when we had no internet hookup in our home. Those were the days!

I suggest you try this, too. It's bliss. Hardly an angry word has been spoken in our house. Hardly a child has been clobbered by his brother. Hardly a thing has broken!

Another Quote!

2010-03-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, this one is not because I'm losing my mind. It's actually because I have little computer access, and I'm so tired, I feel like I'm going to cry.

"In the words of the Albany Free School, if you aren't making it up as you go along, you aren't doing it right."
-John Taylor Gatto

"Take Back Your Education"

2010-03-02T05:38:00.000-08:00

Here is a very good article which synopsizes quite a bit of John Taylor Gatto's basic message! It's from Yes! Magazine. Sorry I have no other commentary right now - our family is being ravaged by a very unpleasant illness. Enjoy!

Free Range Kids

2010-02-27T05:18:00.001-08:00

How many of you have checked out the book or the website Free Range Kids? It's excellent!

I know that is a totally lame review, but I have never claimed to be a non-lame reviewer! Actually I haven't read the book yet, but I get posts from the website, which are always scandalous and usually make me extremely glad I'm raising my kids counterculturally.

Oh, and here's a good one about gun play, which I know is a popular topic amongst almost everyone I know (and around my house). It's called "Do toy guns turn kids into killers?"

Hot, Steaming Meatloaf

2010-02-17T07:53:00.000-08:00

It's not every day that I actually make something that Ezra says he loves. In fact, it's not even every day that I cook anything tolerable, or unburnt, for that matter.

But on Monday night, Ezra took one bite of his meatloaf and said, "Mmmm! Good meatloaf!" And then he said, "This is the best meatloaf I've ever had."

That's saying a lot, because meatloaf is one of the only things I ever make.

So, because I am a kindhearted person, I am going to share this amazing recipe. Actually, I think meatloaf is a really creepy concept. But, you know, if you use good beef, it's pretty healthy.

EZRA'S FAVORITE MEATLOAF (total time, about 1 hr. 45 minutes)

1-1/2 lbs. grassfed ground beef
1 c. water
1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp. dried ground sage
1/2 tsp. salt or more if it's coarse-ground
1/2 tsp. ground dry mustard
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 large egg
3 slices sprouted multigrain bread, torn into small pieces
1 leftover overcooked fried egg, finely chopped
2 large kale leaves, destemmed, chopped into eensy weensy tiny tiny little bits 1/3-1/2 c. onion, finely chopped

Preheat oven to 350. Mix everything together and put in an ungreased loaf pan with a meat thermometer in center. Bake uncovered 1 to 1-1/4 hrs. until thermometer reads 160. Serves 6.

Wow, I am so domestic!!!

Waiting. . .

2010-02-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

Here's something that is not dreamy about unschooling: Not knowing where you are going to live six months from now. Especially when you've already moved so many times since your first child was born, that you've lost track.

Once again we find ourselves waiting to hear about a potential job for my husband. . . and the clock is ticking, and it always takes longer than I am told it will. . .

It's hard to really settle in to an apartment or a house or a community when you have no idea how long you'll be able to stay!

Very annoying!

Although, on the bright side, at least I don't have to keep pulling my kids out of schools! That would be even more annoying! So I guess this is pretty dreamy after all. In a relative sort of way.

But not really.

Conference Notes

2010-02-15T11:57:00.000-08:00

Though I did not remember to take pictures at the unschooling conference,
I did find on my computer this photo of some people at another conference, which had a few similarities to the one in Madison

I didn't do enough to explain the Madison Unschooling Conference in yesterday's post, so here are a few quotes/thoughts I scribbled on my notepad there*:

-watch The Harlem Globetrotters to see an example of adults engaging in pure play.
-standardized testing industry is an 80 billion dollar empire.
-epidemic of diabetes in this country being blamed on food, but media is not covering the other main cause, which is immobilization (which occurs most of the day in schools).
-schools are the creators (along with the fast-food industry, etc.) of the diabetes epidemic
-book recommendation: Strangers in the Land
-Find out what people want. Then either give it to them cheaper or of better quality. Or be the only one.
-Look up his former student, B.J. Cummings
-small, private airfields - sometimes the pilots there will let you ride for free, just to have someone to talk to.
-John Taylor Gatto put kids back into the community doing what kids did before WWII - "adding value."
-Previous to WWII, kids were expected to make their own pocket money by age 7, usually doing things older people didn't want to do. These days this is considered child abuse.
-re: teenagers obsessed with video games: "If he loves video games, why not incorporate him into the video game industry. Designing video games, etc. Courses at the university. Video games are the largest single profit-making source in the media industry.
-read Dan Greenberg books
-Question from workshop participant: "Why do parents get worried about very intense non-academic pursuits?" JTG says there is no such thing as a non-academic pursuit.
-On the topic of "educational conspiracy" - JTG says, these people are/were not evil. But people have been conditioned, on purpose, and by "brilliant thinkers," for over 100 years, to "think down blind alleys." These people are not evil - they just believe what Calvin, Spinoza, etc., say, which is that you're dangerous. They spoke openly about it, though.
-Horace Mann, in a diary in 1845: "break the bonds of the working class." Or something like that.
-In a school setting where kids are in the back of the room copying out of comic books, JTG would go back and watch what the kids were doing and say "do you think you're copying that comic book?" Bring up something about what they're doing: "I notice all the characters in the panels - but in the comic books, the arms and legs stick out, and the panels are all of different sizes." Told student to take a week out of school, go to the library, and sit in a pile of 20 books at a time, in order to learn how to do it the way the professionals do - Where does the paper come from? What's the best comic book? What about foreign comics?
-Comic books - jobs in graphic arts are very well paid and the artists don't have to wear a coat and tie!
-Question from a workshop participant - How did you get away with not getting caught for the way you were teaching? JTG: wore pinstripes, volunteered for horrible jobs like lunchroom monitor, and pretended to be a "stickler" for discipline. Threw the scent off for long enough to try things and find out if they worked. He also visited homes: "If I don't know the parents I'm not going to know the kids."
-Advice: Look for opportunities. Then you can draw liasons/ligatures between casual interests and things that those interests might develop into in the future. Parents have been so excluded from "cooking a new life." That is poison. Parents become unpaid assistants of the classroom teacher.
-More advice to teachers: Start with projects that will make the school look good. Say, "A group of parents has approached me and said. . . . and I think it's a good idea!" Also, work through assistant principals because 75% of them won't survive.
-Colonial aristocrats used to teach their children, "If you can't draw what you're seeing, then you haven't seen what you think you're looking at."
-Get the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards.
-On JTG's documentary film project - guy in charge says, "It's useless to make a small documentary because it will only be watched by the True Believers."
-Watch this movie: High School
-our economy depends on continuous warfare. Our economy can't survive without it.
-look up Penn-Gillette - read book.

Well, there you go. Hopefully there is something in there for everyone!

_____________________________________________________________
*Please keep in mind that these are just my notes, and I urge you to do your own research on their validity.
-

The Madison Unschooling Conference!

2010-02-14T05:08:00.000-08:00

I accidentally forgot to take a picture yesterday, but Kenny and I attended the Madison Unschooling Conference, with Special Guest John Taylor Gatto. It was great. John Taylor Gatto was amazing. I already was a great admirer after reading his books Dumbing Us Down, A Different Kind of Teacher, and The Underground History of American Education, but now I'm an even bigger fan because he was so much more interesting and funny in person than I expected him to be.

Above is a picture of his newest book, Weapons of Mass Instruction : A Schoolteacher's Journey Through the Dark World of Compulsory Schooling, which I have not yet read, and was going to buy at the conference, but they ran out before I nabbed one. I'm sure it's excellent because almost everything this man says is mind-blowing.

Besides that, it was nice to just be in a beautiful venue with a huge group of very like-minded people, eating delicious food and socializing. Kenny also got a lot out of attending a lecture on play by Allison McKee (he was slightly weirded out that it was actually a long lecture on play, but whatever). And I attended a very bizarre workshop on "Wholemovement" by Bradford Hansen-Smith. I really had no idea what he was talking about until the end, when I realized he was teaching us how to fold ordinary paper plates into **amazing** shapes. Now I wish I'd gotten one of his books to work on with my kids, but here it is in case *you* would like to. I'll never look at a paper plate the same way again. That's for sure.

Anyone who knows me knows how I hate to explain things. But hopefully I'll be writing more about what I learned at the conference soon.

Oh, and here is my favorite quote that I copied off the wall there:

The opposite of play is not work. It's depression.
-Brian Sutton-Smith, contemporary American folklorist

Get National Velvet!

2010-02-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago we finally watched the National Velvet CD I got at the thrift store for a Christmas present for the kids.

They saw the cover and actually refused to watch it for over a month, but then they became obsessed with it and wanted to watch it over and over.

Besides being a great story and having famous actors (Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney, and Angela Lansbury), it also has an excellent parental role model in it - the mother, actress Anne Revere, who actually won an Oscar for her performance.

So rarely do I watch anything at all, but when I do, I even more rarely see people modeling the kind of parent I'd love to be. So I highly recommend getting National Velvet and then going around like I do, saying to myself, "What would Velvet's mother say in this situation?"

Writing Projects

2010-02-10T12:31:00.001-08:00

Well, never mind all that Parental Controls stuff for now.

I don't think I've written about all the books Ezra has written, and I would like to scan in some of them, but our scanner is not working. Shocking, I know.

Anyway, in the past 3 days I transcribed 2 books for him. The first was called "Gangster Busters" and the second was "Night of the Maverick." These two he dictated, I wrote down, and then he illustrated them. They are secret fantasy stories, where a boy named Jim shoots his baby brother repeatedly with a Nerf dart gun. Then "the neighborhood bully" comes over and he shoots him with "ballpoint darts" and he bleeds, passes out, tries to attack Jim again, and then passes out again. At first I was totally horrified, and I told him that was the last book I was going to transcribe for him if they're going to be all violent and gorey! But then I felt better last night when I was listening to a Naomi Aldort CD, and she was talking about how she often does counseling with kids where she has them draw a picture of their anger, or act it out with dolls, etc.. And so, I guess if Ezra wants to act out his vengeance at his brother and "bullies" on paper, I think that's a pretty good choice.

Today he started a book called "The Wrath of Jim," but this one he is writing all by himself, because a couple days ago he told me he couldn't write the books himself because he didn't know lowercase letters. !!! So today I wrote down the alphabet for him in lowercase letters, and was about to do the whole lame school thing where you make the dotted lines to copy, etc., but he was totally weirded out by that, and just started writing his book and looking back at the letters for reference. Duh!! Why on EARTH do they make kids copy those letters over and over for half a year??? All they have to do is WANT to write something, and then they will figure out how to do it. Apparently. At least *this* kid. . . and I'm sure I was the same way. I hated all that letter tracing and copying as a kid.

Anyway, he wrote the entire book by himself today while Ottar and I went for a jog around the cemetary. I have not yet read it, because he has to put the finishing touches on the last page. But I am excited! He is currently taking a break for a bath with his little brother. :)

Uh. . .

2010-02-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

Damn! I just posted that and then realized I'd never checked to see if the Nerf gun videos really were blocked. . . and they aren't!

This is so tragic.

And now I won't even be able to read this post, because I just swore.

Parental Controls

2010-02-05T05:30:00.000-08:00

A generic toucan photo. Because I do not have access to my own photographs now that I've set Parental Controls

Well, it's pretty funny, because I do not have full access to my own blog now that we've set "Parental Controls" on the computer.

(Note to all readers: if your kids have not yet discovered the internet, I highly recommend you set these *before* they do, and not 2 years later!)

Anyway, as previously mentioned dozens of times, Ezra is really into guns, and the YouTube stuff he was pulling up on "video day" was just a little bit too unnerving. I know, I know, I should be watching it with him. But you know what? We just don't have the same interests.

So anyway, the tragedy for him is that he can't see his fave Nerf gun reviews (which are actually pretty hilarious) or Nerf gun movie spoofs (which I find merely annoying.) But these basically amounted to him watching 90 minutes a week of Nerf gun commercials, and his entire life was being consumed. He was calling relatives every single day to tell them about a new gun he just *had* to have.

I know there are plenty of unschooler avocates for children having free reign over what they watch on computers, but please!! And especially in a town like this, where many kids probably watch three movies a year, and have no televisions (not that we have a television, either.)

Anyway, a peace has settled over me. I no longer have to worry that he'll accidentally click on beheadings, Tsunami death footage, pornography, etc. I just wish I'd set them before, but me being totally technologically challenged - I thought you had to order software to set them. Oh well!

I just **love** Naomi Aldort (previously mentioned on this blog, but Parental Controls have blocked my ability to search for it.) and lately I've been both rereading her book and listening to a 4-CD set I ordered. She is my hero because she just advocates "controlling the environment, not the child." So, I'm really working harder at controlling the environment. It makes the home a peaceful place to live. Not that I've achieved that yet, but we're on our way!

Taking Matters into my own Hands

2010-02-03T06:58:00.000-08:00

Well, it seems that wherever I go, there is not what I want, and so I have to make it.

Since we just moved to a small town, there are many things that seem to me sorely lacking here. More on that later. But for now, I've decided that I have to incorporate into my schedule a free art class for some local unschoolers. I am going to do this on Tuesdays because Tuesdays are the middle day when my husband is gone, and they are also the days when for some reason, maybe because the Homeschool Co-op we decided *again* not to rejoin meets that day.

So, I've decided anyone who wants to can come to my multi-age class in our cramped kitchen. Or maybe in the basement? I'm going to do paper-mache, collage, decoupage, sock puppets. . . and . . . haven't thought of the other one yet.

Oh, and by the way, I'm hardly following that schedule at all! But it's nice to know I can. So far, I do fill the dishwasher every night and empty it every morning (previously I was anti-dishwasher). And I did tell the kids they're going outside today at 9:30! And they agreed. I'll be posting later about how that goes.

What makes a Magical Childhood?

2010-01-30T07:34:00.000-08:00

Playing in the leaves at Wildcat Mountain State Park last fall

Camping with unschooler friends on our month-long tour of Minnesota State Parks in June, 2008

With Bubbie on the North Shore in 2007

Ezri at Minnehaha Falls when he was only 2!

A couple of years ago I was on an unschooler chatlist where someone proposed the question, "Do you think your childhood was magical, and if so, what was magical about it?"

It was amazing - every person who responded said that what was magical was time spent in nature and/or time spent on vacations.

I love that!

On vacation, of course, time slows down - everyone can be "present" and you are *supposed* be hanging out together, being idle or having new experiences.

And in nature. . . well, it's just a universal experience that we need because of being human beings, having spent 99.9% of our history living in tribal situations, where being outdoors was the way of life.

When I think of the most magical experiences of *my* childhood, what immediately comes to mind are things like these:

-playing on the beach in the Gulf of Mexico
-riding horseback through Wyoming
-watching a thunderstorm roll in over Lake Minnetonka
-going over a waterfall on my butt at the bottom of the Grand Canyon
-climbing the tree in my front yard
-playing for hours by the lake
-snorkeling in Hawaii
-jumping over waves on the shore of Lake Superior
-playing on my dome climber jungle gym
-playing in mud puddles on our gravel driveway
-sitting by a campfire
-finding a "treasure buried by pirates" in the sand dunes
-listening to John Denver on the 8-track in my dad's boat
-water tubing with friends
-sledding, building snowmen and forts, and having snowball fights

Aah! There is one exception - I think that my Christmases seemed magical when I was a child, and those were neither outdoors nor vacations. But in a way they were - the fire in the fireplace and everyone gathered and slowed down, relaxed and having a great time - just like on vacation.

Isn't it interesting? I'd love to hear other people comment on what they think was magical about *their* childhoods.

I think that a lot of the reason that I'm so obsessed with going on vacation to "nature" places, getting my kids outdoors, and wanting rural property is all because of these kinds of memories.

But if other people have other kinds of magical childhood experiences, I'd like to hear those, too!

(Interestingly, I have just put this question to my 6.5 year-old and he says that his most magical memories are of Papa and me using magical means (magic leaf, magic wand) to make marshmallows appear in his hot chocolate. Hmmm!)

A Request! And "schedules"

2010-01-29T06:14:00.001-08:00

I finally have a request! It's been months. A request to show you the schedule I mentioned in the day before yesterday's post.

I like to think of it as someone else's schedule - to me it's just a "back up plan" because I am horrified at the thought of having a scheduled life.

That being said, we followed it pretty well yesterday, with excellent results!

Here is what I have written down on a scrap of paper:

7-8 a.m. - get dressed, make beds, empty dishwasher, put away breakfast dishes, coffee/tea, partially clean bathroom

8:00 - breakfast

8:30 - brush hair/teeth, clean kitchen, put in laundry

9:00 - outside every day (field trip, outing, play in yard, etc.)

11:30 - home, cook lunch/play

12-12:30 - dishes, dry laundry

1-4 - next outside time ("while I'm cleaning, you go outside.") And other homeschooler stuff.

5:00 - dinner

6-?? - chaos.

********

Now that I look at this, I realize I hardly followed it at all - but what a comfort it is to have around, like an old, senile grandma sitting around in a rocking chair. Or something.

The only reason I was willing to consider a schedule of any kind is because I finally met someone who seems enough like me that I can look at her and say, "if *she* can do this, I can do this, too, and NOT turn into a robot." Yes, it's true - the rest of you all who have schedules remind me of robots.

Anyway, really I just made sure to get my kids outside yesterday as early as possible, and I said to the one who likes to wear his p.j.s all day long, "You've gotta get your clothes on before breakfast today!" Then I said, "You've gotta comb your hair before you go to the vet!" (That was their errand after playing around outside.)

I don't follow any of the other things, either, now that I think about it.

I did put some laundry in yesterday, though, and I felt like Somebody Organized. And I also even cleaned the bathroom sink before bed. Now that's really something.

This is all a great example of how having a schedule can be useful even if you don't use it. I just knew it was there, and so I had support. I also told my husband about it and he was mildly intrigued. I said before I left to go write at the coffee shop, "If you can't figure out what to do, just look at the schedule, and see if it looks good."

Next on my list of Life Goals is to make a pictoral chart with the kids, with all these things on it (modified slightly for our family. For example, we'll have to put "Call Bubbie" after breakfast time, and also add some time for Ottar to be squished daily under a couch cushion - something he requires to keep him from pushing the Learning Tower down the basement steps again.)

Only a month late on these Florida Pix

2010-01-28T05:44:00.000-08:00

In December we drove down to Florida because we had free lodgings in the panhandle, on St. George Island. It was amazing! Has to be one of the best places ever to take your kids, if you're me!

Cabin Fever No More - I Hope

2010-01-27T12:43:00.001-08:00

Recently I copied down my new friend Rachel's entire daily schedule for myself - she's an unschooler, too, and has kids the same age. She claims the schedule is the answer to all our problems. Basically I just glance at the schedule and think, "Maybe I should do THAT now." And then I try half-heartedly and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

But today I decided that I'm going to stick with it because Bad Things happen when I don't haul the kids outside in the morning.

Let it be known that my children and I will heretofore go out and do something every morning, come hell or high water!

In case anyone's wondering

2010-01-19T05:23:00.000-08:00

What happened to me? I went out of town again. And now that I'm back, Dear Husband is taking the computer away from me for four days. So I can't record any of our goings-on. Which is actually fine, because I'm mostly just hyper-focused on trying to get rid of fleas. Seriously.

Ezra Won a Bike!

2010-01-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

Here are photos of Ezra on the bike he won in December at the holiday raffle! (As usual, I'm over a month behind on uploading photos to the computer b/c I have no idea how to do it.)

It was a very exciting event, this bike-winning, because he biked over to the raffle on his little purple bike he's had since he was 3. As we walked along behind, his papa and I were discussing how it really is getting ridiculously small for him. And then he won this crazy BMX bike. It's a little too big, and the purple bike, which he immediately bequeathed to his little brother, is also to big for him, but hopefully they'll grow into them by spring.

Combining Things

2010-01-03T08:42:00.000-08:00

Ottar loves to combine things. Every day he asks me things like "What would happen if I mixed orange juice with goat milk?" And very often he experiments and discovers things that he decides are delicious, but which would make me retch.

He also likes to combine non-food items, such as roller skates and bicycling, as seen above (pix finally uploaded from early last month.)

Most parents would probably try to stop this amazing experience from ever occurring, but let me tell you, Ottar and Papa actually had a great ride!

A Great Reason to Unschool

2010-01-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

One thing I have heard many people say is that they don't want to keep their kids out of school because they think that they don't have enough skills, etc. that they can pass on to their kids.

Never mind that they probably don't have any because they spent so much time in school themselves.

Days like today, when my husband has taken the 3-yo to the "big city" for a shopping trip are days when I get to have the honor and priviledge of learning how to do things I have absolutely no idea how to do (and no interest in doing, really.) Because Ezra asked me to help him make a "holdster" for his cap gun. So we've been cutting burlap and I've been helping him sew it together with pink embroidery thread (the only kind I could find in my maddeningly overstuffed/disorganized art cabinet).

As I said to him while trying to sew a button on it, "I really have no idea how to do this, so we're learning together."

You know what I would say if he were in school? I would probably say, "Oh, I'm sure you'll learn that next year." Or something. I know I really would say that, because I *could*. Of course for him to learn sewing, we'd have to send him to Waldorf school (one of our previous top choices anyway.) But this is so much cheaper, and more fulfilling.

Soon, I hope, we will have learned to do everything together that I have wished I had known how to do my whole life. We sure have a ways to go, though. One of these days I'll make a list of all my incompetencies, for all to see.

Pictures soon!!

Happy 2010!

2010-01-01T07:41:00.000-08:00

And a cold day. So I found this great link:

"Things to do without leaving the house" from The Idler website, which is soon to become my favorite place to hang out (while still at home.)

http://idler.co.uk/idleparent/things-to-do-without-leaving-the-house/

Another quote, when all else fails

2009-12-17T17:09:00.000-08:00

When I'm having One of Those Days, I think I'll just always paste quotes. That can be my secret code.

Although I do feel so much better after going to the network chiro!!

Anyway, here's something to munch on:

My schooling not only failed to teach me what it professed to be teaching, but prevented me from being educated to an extent which infuriates me when I think of all I might have learned at home by myself. -George Bernard Shaw

2 Kids in a Car for 6 Days?

2009-12-15T07:26:00.000-08:00

2 boys, ages 6 and 3, in a car for 6 days cross-country. What would you bring?

Today's Quote by Naomi Aldort

2009-12-14T06:13:00.000-08:00

Unschooling quote of the day, from Naomi Aldort:

If children played all their childhood (I mean it), they would be ready for life. They would be emotionally strong (providing no other damage has been done), and would have all the basic skills to handle life. Our anxiety for children to know certain things at specific ages is an enormous obstacle to trusting and allowing their natural development. When children play, they are the only qualified authors of this magical process. It is rarely too late to acquire knowledge, but often it is dangerously too early and out of harmony with the internal journey of the child.

Actually, My Child won't Come to the Table because he's Gifted

2009-12-11T05:41:00.000-08:00

The other day I had to escape to the library for a little "alone time," and the book selection was not too exciting. So, I headed over to the Education Section, which consisted of about 8 books, one of which was about "gifted kids." My kids will never be tested for giftedness, since they aren't in school, and what does it even mean, anyway? But I thought I'd browse through the book and see if it had any good tips.

It did! It said that one sign that your kid is gifted is that he will get so interested in something that he won't come to the dinner table when you call him!

I just thank The Lord that I now know that Ezra is not Oppositionally Defiant (another thing I could have him tested for), or the victim of some other horrible disorder I could look up in the DSM, when he just stays curled up on the couch reading Tintin, deaf to our pleas to come and eat his chili.

So now when my husband, my other son, and I sit at the dining room table with one empty chair, we smile to ourselves and exchange knowing glances.

(He's **gifted**!!)

I Know Soulemama's Secret

2009-12-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

The adventure begins!

The careful collection of sticks.

Ezra shows off his stick-breaking abilities.

Nonie always accompanies us on our neighborhood outings!

This is the [very delayed - as today there is a blizzard outside our window!] first of a series of days wherein I pretend to be Soulemama. Why? Because everyone always says Soulemama makes them feel guilty and inadequate, and that they can't do that much cool stuff and have that much amazing fun with their kids.

Well, folks, I know her secret. And I will tell it to you.

The secret is the camera.

Ok, I have only a scruffy little cheap digital hardly-any-megapixel camera that is actually my husband's - and he takes it with him to work most days.

BUT. . .

Next time you're feeling blue, just try this: Take your kids out somewhere, and bring your camera along. Lonely? No. . . you can't be because you know that everything you are doing is now ART. And it will make you feel like SOMEBODY SPECIAL when you post about it on your blog. No matter if your kids are not wearing cute, handmade clothes. . . although all the better if they are! Of course you must make sure you are doing something outdoorsy and natural. . . or possibly, crafty.

Please notice how taking the pictures above totally changed my mood. The truth is, we went out "stick-finding" only because I thought I was going to lose my mind if I stayed in the house for one more second with my kids. But as soon as we got going and I made it into a photo safari, the whole thing became festive and even slightly hilarious.

Thank you, Soulemama, for raising my Vibe.

The Secret to Being in the House with Small Children!

2009-12-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Working w/modeling clay in July '09

Here's a post I wrote a few weeks ago, but forgot to publish. I have a tear in my eye as I reread it now, because those were the good old days, when I had all kinds of *new* projects to toss out on the table. This week we're down to wax sticks and a broken sewing machine (but at least they'd never seen the sewing machine!) And at least there's snow. . . Ottar spent a half hour yesterday sweeping off everything in the back yard with a kids' push broom (after seeing the neighbor man do it - *why* the neighbor was doing it, I have no idea. . .) And then he spent another half hour shoveling the front walk. A regular work horse he is! If only we can line up the projects.

************************************

Ah, finally it has been revealed to me! If I just always have an idea for the "next thing" to throw at Ottar, he is a completely manageable child at any hour of the day!

We finally moved the art cabinet upstairs so that it's right by the kitchen table (and switched the kitchen table to a littler IKEA one, which was previously housed in the carport - thus causing me to actually not feel totally cramped and crabby while we're doing projects) and now I can just run there and throw out some art supply and walk back to the food I'm burning. Or whatever.

Another great thing I am now finally doing is letting the kids take things apart, like last week Ottar took apart my broken hairdryer (with my help). This resulted in several new "toys" being discovered (as in, hair dryer parts), which include a "cell phone" (handle) a space gun (main body) a sieve, and a car grille, just off the top of my head.

Artistic Endeavours

2009-12-07T05:30:00.000-08:00

We've finally been stepping it up around here as far as artwork goes - we even got the art cabinet moved up into the living room so that we can easily access all the art supplies (though we *really* need to get a lot more of them).

But first off, I forgot to publish pix of the jack-o-lanterns we made this year. We usually make them frantically at the last minute (and Kenny is rarely around, as he has no tradition of jack-o-lantern making as a family, which causes me distress every year. . . but oh well.)

Hmmm. . . I do not know how to embed a photo in a post - they will only show at the beginning. So, please see above for Ezra's Pirate Jack-o-Lantern with a wound on it's face, followed by the pumpkin face Ottar drew all by himself -- he says it's a baby, because it has no teeth.

Cute, Inspirational Article

2009-12-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

Here's a cute article for anyone needing a little inspiration this day: "The Never-at-Home Homeschoolers" by Patricia Zaballos.

In our household, the most influential part of the essay was this quote: "Just as you should never wake a sleeping baby, never interrupt a reading child."

A comforting thing to keep in mind when your 6-year-old is so engrossed in reading Tintin that he can't even hear you telling him it's time to leave.

It's True - You Really Don't have to Do Anything to be an Unschooling Parent!

2009-12-03T05:24:00.000-08:00

Even while you sleep, your children will just teach themselves!

About Time for an Update, No?

2009-12-01T07:51:00.001-08:00

Here's what's going on around here, with the kids:

1. Ezra is waaaay into his Bunjinkan (Ninjutsu) class. He wants to take it twice a week instead of once, but we don't have a car the other day that the class is offered. He does practice on a daily basis, though, of his own accord. As I type, he is in the bedroom trying to give Ottar (3 yo) lessons.

2. The "Japan Unit" went O.K. - not as well as it could have, as it seemed to be too much dependent on me gathering things (without money), etc. We did do origami one day (but then lost all the paper), we read several awesome new children's books about Japan, and Ezra works almost every day on his Hiragana alphabet - either copying it, making up direct-translation words, (i.e. he just made me a sign that says "ma-ma"). Kenny was supposed to make a Japanese dinner with him or something, but apparently the Japanese fervor is not so infectious as to affect Papa Pyefeld. He muttered several times under his breath about it, but I have yet to see any wontons or sushi.

3. Ottar is obsessed with words, asking me all day long, "what does _____ mean?" Sometimes I feel like crying, if it's the end of the day and he asks me something complex, as in last week when he kept asking for increasingly precise definitions of 'deserve'.

4. Ezra is also still a voracious Tintin reader. I cannot stop him, though I am worried because the print is so tiny, and he will read it for hours on end. I am amazed by the amount of vocabulary and geography he has learned from these books!

4. Guns, guns, guns! Ezra can now identify just about any firearm by sight, and also explain how it works, what it is for, and the materials it is made from. In yet another attempt to draw myself in to his world (because I am so NOT interested in guns), I started looking stuff up on the History Detectives website last night, and I think that if we watch some of those videos together, we may have found some common ground!

What I've been Obsessing Over this Week

2009-12-01T06:53:00.000-08:00

I reread John Holt's How Children Fail last week, and it sure is a different book when you have a school-aged child! Last time I read it, I only had a baby.

Last time I read it, I was slightly scandalized, but this time I read it, I was not only totally scandalized, but also appalled, horrified, and enraged. You know why? Because this book was written in 1960 (updated in 1980 - when it was *much* improved by the author's added comments.) And yet, so far as I can tell, it isn't included in the teacher trainings anywhere in this country. PLEASE tell me if I'm wrong about this! I did as much web research as I could. . . but the truth is I don't think any teacher program could withstand including it. Because I think they would lose 100% of their enrollees . . . I think.

Of course, I am also wondering if this information has been somehow synthesized into a more recent work. . . though it seems to me that the book in its entirety is uncondensable, since it's the progression of one man's understanding of children.

I would love for someone who is a teacher to read this book and tell me if it can be interpreted any other way. I do so want someone to take me up on this challenge, and the one presented in an earlier post, which was for anyone with kids in school to read a few books off my reading list (right hand bar of blog) and then not want to pull their kids out of school. I really want to know if there are other people's brains that can work that differently from mine. Am I insane?

As T.S. Eliot says:

I should really like to think there's something wrong with me —
Because, if there isn't then there's something wrong,
Or at least, very different from what it seemed to be,
With the world itself — and that's much more frightening!

The Dark Side of Me

2009-11-23T08:33:00.000-08:00

So, I put that post up yesterday, about reward and punishment, because it's something I really need to work on. With all the stress of moving, unpacking, moving to a new town, and feeling quite isolated (something is happening with my planets right now, my new astrologist told me, that is associated with "incarceration."* I had to really laugh about that one!) . . . [what just happened to my sentence?] . . . I've had a short temper some days (aahh. . . and my astrologist also told me it's time to get back into kickboxing!!) . . . and my first response, when I'm tense, is to immediately look for some sort of threat or punishment - not the typical things like "time-out," spanking, or taking away priviledges, but things like, "If you don't stop fighting over that, I'm going to take it away," or when I'm really out to lunch I say really crazy things, like I did this morning, such as, "If you're going to argue with each other, I might as well send you to school - that's why people send their kids to school - because they argue with each other and the parents don't want them around!"

Uhhh. . . yes, I really said that. And it didn't faze them because they've heard it before. Luckily they don't believe me that I'll do it. (And don't you love how I set school up as a punishment? So healthy.) Of course, there are many, many people who send their kids to school for that exact reason (many of them are my friends, and they have told me as much). But I am not proud of these moments. *Sigh*

Unschooling IS dreamy. Oh yes, it is! But parenting isn't always. And two boys fighting over which side of the window is going to be opened, so that they can jump four feet down onto the couch - all while I'm trying to email on that couch? No. Not dreamy at all.

Funny I just made a rule for myself last week: No more computer use between the hours of 8:30 A.M. and 5:00 P.M. And here I am at 10:40 A.M. blogging about the trouble I had while emailing 20 minutes ago. Hmmmm. . .

And yet, why would I want to make rules for myself anyway, when they diminish responsibility?

_______________________________________________________
*For the record, he would probably not have told me this if I hadn't begged him to tell me about what an amateur astrologer friend had told me, which was that I was going into a period of "isolation." My new astrologer had instead said something like "a period of contemplation" or something like that. And as you can see, this is already true. What a contemplative post!

"Reward and Punishment"

2009-11-22T14:04:00.000-08:00

Here is a little section of The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents - A New Interpretation by William Martin. Lovely to contemplate. . . maybe with a cup of tea.

**********

Be careful of rules for your children.
Rules diminish responsibility.
Be careful of rewards for your children.
Rewards diminish self-esteem.
Be careful of punishments for your children.
Punishments diminish trust.

Let lessons be imposed
by the nature of things,
not by your own agendas
or your own needs.
Integrity will replace rules.
Contentment will replace striving.
Spirituality will replace religion.
Songs will replace arguments.
Dances will replace battles.

Don't tell me this is overly simple.
Perhaps the most courageous act
of any parent's life
will be that moment
when, even though it breaks your heart,
you stand aside
and let your children
take the natural consequences
of their actions.

An Awesome Idea for Thanksgiving - Get to Work!

2009-11-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Last year I started what is to become a yearly ritual for me: doing the "Egyptian Writing Ritual" out of Sarah Susanka's book, The Not So Big Life. I am still energized by the four days of writing I put in before New Year's last year.

Now my friend in L.A. has just sent me a blog post from one of her yoga teachers, where she outlines a counter-intuitive Thanksgiving activity dreamed up by the Dalai Lama, and included in his newest book. I am totally taken with this idea, and plan to do something about it. It's called "Count Your Sufferings," and it is designed to help you realize that suffering is mostly in the mind - that is, it feels like suffering because of your reactions. What is suffering to one person might be considered a "challenge" to another. In some cases it might even be considered a blessing by someone else. Think about it!

Enjoy! And I hope I remember to post about it after the holiday, to let you know how it went for us.

Quote Break Again

2009-11-18T05:00:00.000-08:00

"I've come to believe that genius is an exceedingly common human quality, probably natural to most of us... I began to wonder, reluctantly, whether it was possible that being in school itself was what was dumbing them down. Was it possible I had been hired not to enlarge children's power, but to diminish it? That seemed crazy on the face of it, but slowly I began to realize that the bells and the confinement, the crazy sequences, the age-segregation, the lack of privacy, the constant surveillance, and all the rest of national curriculum of schooling were designed exactly as if someone had set out to *prevent* children from learning how to think and act, to coax them into addiction and dependent behavior."

– John Taylor Gatto

Counting Money

2009-11-16T13:20:00.001-08:00

I have to admit we use a lot of plastic in front of our kids - "money" is something they find lying on the floor in the form of coins, to stuff into the slots in the coffee table.

It occurred to me the other day that maybe Ezra didn't know the denominations of coins (which he would, if we ever used them - he goes everywhere with us). He did not know the value of a nickel or a dime. I think I told him how much they were, but I'm sure he forgot because he wasn't interested - it was my question, not his.

But then the boy across the street told him he'd gotten a $3 cap gun at Walmart (oh joy!) and it occurred to Ezra that maybe all those pennies and random, valueless coins might add up to $3.

It was sad for me to be witnessing his exuberance for learning about money with the twin shadows of weaponry and Wal-Mart hanging over us. But whatever, right? He stacked up all his quarters and declared that he actually had SIX dollars. I pointed out that he actually had more (how I wish I hadn't felt compelled to do this!). So he asked me how much dimes and nickels are, and then we made stacks of those. He did all the addition in his own head, and figured out he had $7.95, plus eight extra pennies. After a while he figured out how to add the pennies in, too, and triumphantly shouted, "I have eight dollars and three cents!"

That was pretty exciting, and I didn't do anything but answer his questions. I did offer to get a pen and paper for him to add, but he didn't want it. I don't know where he learned how to add in his head anyway - but somehow he figures it out when he really wants to know the answer.

What could be more inspirational than knowing that you could actually almost buy THREE cap guns??

Mr. Claus and my Mainstream Christmas Magic

2009-11-16T09:24:00.001-08:00

Since I've already gotten requests for "ideas for what to get the kids this year," and the neighbors have already busted out their plastic nativity scenes, I decided it's high time for me to dig up this old email I wrote to a group list I was on a few years ago when the question of how to handle Santa came up. Here it is, (now slightly edited for clarity) circa 2005, I think. . .

************

The idea of Santa as a "deception" was a new one to me when I first came across it on an internet website a few years ago. That way of looking at it didn't "resonate" with me but I spent time thinking and talking about it, and Ezra was a baby at the time, so I figured I had a while.

I always loved having Santa as a child and I was probably the last child to give up all hope. I was still clinging to the 1% chance that he could be real when my third grade teacher prefaced a lecture by saying, "You guys are all too old to believe in Santa, right?" and everyone laughed. (Except me!) but I wasn't the least bit angry with my parents - I was just sad that the world was not as magical as I had wanted it to be.

In any case, I was wondering why my sisters and I never felt "deceived," and then a friend of mine lent me a book called Joyful Parenting which had a chapter about Christmas. That chapter explained exactly how I remember Santa being handled in my family - like a *game*. I think that is why I have no issues about it. . . Nobody ever outright lied to me about anything. My dad, especially, would say things like, "Geez, those must be Santa's ashy footprints there on the carpet by the fireplace!" etc. - it was all very playful.

Also my parents never told me that those Santas at shopping malls, etc. were real, like many parents do. They would tell me they were just people pretending to be Santa or something like, "Those must just be Santa's helpers."

As it happens, my husband is Jewish, and the first year we were married he demanded that we have no tree and he even refused to let me listen to Christmas music while he was around. He has gradually softened, and this year Ezra was three and a half, and my husband suddenly did a 180 and became obsessed with all things Christmas. He decided he really wanted to have Santa for his son because he only got to have Santa as a child for *one* year, after he begged his mother to allow it. (Note: he grew up in Minneapolis where Jews are scarce, so he was one of the only kids who didn't get visited by Santa). And the next year his mom told him there was no Santa, and he was devastated. To this day he still harasses her for "ruining Santa for him" - he really wanted a magical childhood, too.

(Speaking of magical, I also feel good about doing Santa because of my ties to the Waldorf community and also because of reading Magical Child, by Joseph Chilton Pearce.)

Also, at our house Santa has always used plain colored tissue paper, and we are trying to do simple gifts that are wooden or look handmade (so no "Made in China" stickers on the bottom!) My friend Mary also told me that with her kids, they wrap glitter up in all the presents from Santa, and it falls out like "fairy dust" as the gifts are opened. I love that idea!

(I am, however, totally against the "You only get presents if you're good" threat. (A.K.A. "you'd better watch out, you'd better not cry.")). (Where do the periods go in that sentence?)

I should also add that the "game" of Santa in my family never stopped. We did it all through my teens and 20s and we got gifts for my dad, too, and we'd always say things like "Hey, how did Santa's elves get a framed photo of me at graduation?" or "Hmmm. . . I guess Santa was shopping in Norway this year, too - just like YOU, Dad!" Maybe we're just dorks, but it's fun.

As far as Christmas being too mainstream, I just do what I can to make it how I like it, and I concentrate on rebelling against society in ways that don't have to do with anybody's joy.

***************

Thank God I was able to unearth that. . . I'm much too lazy to write about it all over again now!

I suppose I could add, though, that now that Ezra is 6-1/2, we do a lot more of saying things like, "Hmmm. . . I don't know. What do you think?"

Quote Break

2009-11-14T05:19:00.000-08:00

Time out for a quote. I just love quotes! Here's John Holt again:

“True learning – learning that is permanent and useful, that leads to intelligent action and further learning — can arise only out of the experience, interest, and concerns of the learner.”

J-A-P-A-N Spells Relief!

2009-11-11T12:33:00.000-08:00

Aaahhhhhhhhhh. . . . a little bit of respite from all the weaponry talk! Because of his interest in ninjas, Ezra has told me he wants to learn to "write Japanese." Online I found the Hiragana alphabet, which he insisted I handwrite out for him, and he's been spending the afternoon making lawn signs that say things like "Halt!" and "Sign Your Name Here." It has something to do with ninjas. He's using the alphabet phonetically (as much as is possible), which I think is a great way to learn it!

John Taylor Gatto Always Gives Me the Chills!

2009-11-11T05:51:00.000-08:00

I just got this Michael Mendizza/John Taylor Gatto interview in my inbox. A great read, especially for those who have not yet taken the opportunity to read Gatto's revolutionary books such as Dumbing Us Down, A Different Kind of Teacher, and The Underground History of American Education.

Unfortunately the interview is *horribly* edited (note that he even spelled Gatto's last name wrong!!). Grrrrr.

Anyway, here's my favorite Gatto quote from it, which comes right after he is explaining how he won New York State Teacher of the Year, something he says only happened because they never asked him how his students achieved such amazing things (since then, they always ask), because, for example, he was allowing kids to not attend class. Which totally cracks me up.

The [school] system imposes certain boundaries, certain restrictions, by simply demanding attendance twelve or more years. Imagine all the 'real life' experiences young people might have during that time. And the money - imagine if all the money that went into salaries, buildings, and books were given to families to invest in these experiences. When you really see what is taking place - you become a saboteur.

Okay, I take it back - that is not my favorite quote from it - there are too many to count. Read it! Let's discuss! I'm so excited!

Schooling: The Hidden Agenda

2009-11-10T05:36:00.000-08:00

I think I forgot to mention that another one of our first inspirations to unschool came after I read the novel Ishmael and became a Daniel Quinn fan back when Ezra was a baby. We read his awesome essay entitled "Schooling: The Hidden Agenda," and it sealed the deal!

It's a real winner, even with husbands who won't read, and often even with public school teachers!

I hope you will read it and let me know what you think.

Ottar broke the camera

2009-11-10T05:09:00.000-08:00

Shockingly, Ottar broke the only digital camera we had, which was a cheap one my husband was bringing to work almost every day anyway. Now there really is no hope for this blog!! What to do?

Family Volunteering? Hmmm.

2009-11-04T07:49:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who is thinking about volunteering abroad for a year, because her husband is jobless, she hates her job, and they can't afford their rent. She thought, "might as well do something crazy."

I got really excited for her and started researching options for her. Then I realized *I* want to do it. Chances are pretty good we'll be in the same situation next year! Not to be negative - but hey, this could be my chance to live in Latin America with my kids - though I'd been thinking of doing it about 10 years from now.

I'm still researching options, but for now I found this interesting article about preparing for the possibility.

Don't ask me who would let me volunteer with a four-year-old! But you never know.

If anyone out there knows of any foreign volunteer organizations that are totally awesome and ethical, *and* allow you to bring your kids, let me know!

Freakin Out

2009-11-03T05:06:00.000-08:00

Ah, now I see. I was just told that *everyone* has a nervous breakdown when they move to this town. I feel so much better now. And how nice of everyone here to ignore me during my time of pain, so that I could get the full effects of feeling isolated, confused, and in despair!

Now, of course, the question is, what am I going to do now? I do not know, so I've turned as usual to some good friends, some inspiration from nature, and some author pals. Today I shall quote Mr. Eckhart Tolle, master of the Present Moment, who I have been reading this morning.

Before [Banzan] became a great Zen master, he spent many years in the pursuit of enlightenment, but it eluded him. Then one day, as he was walking in the marketplace, he overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer. "Give me the best piece of meat you have," said the customer. And the butcher replied, "Every piece of meat I have is the best. There is no piece of meat here that is not the best." Upon hearing this, Banzan became enlightened.

So, that's my strategy for the week - to think of every second of my present situation as if it were one of those pieces of meat. Wish me luck.

The New Phase: Toy Guns

2009-10-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

Photo by Leo Kim

If not previously mentioned, Ezra has moved on to a self-prescribed Gun Unit. He knows more about guns than I ever thought possible. He knows about their triggers, mechanisms, ammunition, etc.

I thought there was nothing less interesting to me than rockets. But I was wrong! Guns. . . I am *so* not interested in them. And yet Ezra gives me mini-lectures about them daily.

There are days when he seems a little nutty. But I just found a photo album of "Peaceful Kids with Toy Guns" on Sandra Dodd's website. And it makes me feel better!

Anyway, luckily this interest has other branches. He is now very interested in the Civil War (something I just claimed I wouldn't teach him about for years. . . oh well.) He really wants to become a hunter now, and kill his own food. And also he has decided that instead of an aerospace engineer, he now wants to become an inventor. He invents dozens of guns every day (and then either explains them to me verbally, or draws them out and tells me to ask him questions about them.)

So, I'm just hoping the Gun Phase will be no longer lived than the Rocket Phase. . .

Why We Unschool - Part II (or: Born to Learn)

2009-10-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

Ottar (at 11 mo.) taking in the world around him!

Well, I received a complaint about my previous explanation of why we unschool. I thought it was pretty good, myself. But I guess I'll try to be a little more thorough.

I was inspired to give a better explanation by the woman who does the blog Unschool Days, which I wrote about this summer. Here is the link to her explanation of why *she* is an unschooler. It's an excellent explanation, and I already posted that link this summer, too.

However, I went through a semi-rabid anti-school phase a few years ago (due to reflecting upon my own educational experiences - my kids have never been to school or preschool), and there are many, many excellent books, essays, and YouTube videos about what is wrong with schools. Now I really just prefer to focus on what is so cool about "lifelong learning" (another euphemism for unschooling) because why fight against something when you can just forge ahead happily? The school system is falling apart on its own, and almost everyone can see that anyway. I love that people continue to expose the underlying creepiness in the public school system, and in the idea of school in general. I will continue to provide links and share books and essays, but I don't feel like going into exhaustive detail myself.

In any case, my favorite explanation of why we are unschooling is because there is so much inspiration in life. The minute my first son was born, he was taking in so much information. He was a very alert baby, watching the world, absorbing information, etc. He didn't need anybody to teach him anything - he just needed to be provided with rich experiences, such as lots of social settings, lots of quiet time in nature, lots of places and spaces to play, lots of sensory experiences, lots of carrying, lots of love, etc.

I had already decided to unschool him before he was a year old, as previously mentioned. And last fall when it came time for lots of other five-year-olds to start kindergarten, it really struck me how ridiculous it seemed to use kindergarten as anything other than a day-care (for working parents) because he was so clearly able to learn everything he needed to know just by living life.

I do tend to tell people in sort of a flip way, "I don't teach him anything, he just teaches himself." But what I really mean is that I tell him the answers when he asks me questions, I help facilitate his learning by looking for resources that support his interests, and I bring a lot of my own interests and values into his life by living my life and including him in it, or by purposely bringing things into his life that I value.

Whew! There, have I explained it well enough now?

A Day at the Park with Papa!

2009-10-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

Kenny found this awesome rock-climbing park today, in the next town over. I am soooo excited! I love rock-climbing and allowing kids to climb on real, genuine natural rocks instead of those plastic ones that are all the rage these days.

More Hiking, I Hope.

2009-10-06T06:05:00.001-07:00

This fall, I'm trying to put a little structure in my life. And also, make up for the fact that we didn't get the woodsy-acreage rental we were hoping for. So, we're going to go once a week to Kickapoo Valley Reserve, (which, interestingly, I just found out is a proposed "Dark Sky Preserve Site"!) and hike the trails. Last week we went to check it out and did a mile loop. Ezra was not thrilled (he likes to hike with other kids) but in case nobody joins us in the future, I got a great little list of tips for hiking with kids from an Appalachian Trail site.

The Results are In!

2009-10-06T06:04:00.001-07:00

All of my blog fans (me) agree that I need a digital camera - right away!

The Rocket Legacy

2009-09-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

I was just looking for a post I thought I'd published, about what the Rocket Phase of Ezra's caused to set in motion. But I can't find it, so even if it's here somewhere, I think I'll recap. Ezra claims he's "done with rockets," though he still uses his Nerf rocket launcher, and still says he wants to go to Cape Canaveral. I think he still wants to be a Rocket Scientist, too, though I haven't asked him lately. These days he's all about weaponry and self-defense.

In any case, the rocket phase started with YouTube, as previously posted. From that, he got into model rockets, memorized every Space Shuttle ever launches, developed an interest in Florida, learned a lot about planets/astronomy, learned countdowns in four or five languages, and developed a slight interest in whichever country was launching (for example, Japan or India). He also memorized about 20 countdowns, along with the static, background noise, accents, mistakes, etc.!

He also set up his Rocket Party (see post) and planned an entire 2-3 hour event with guests, snacks, Q & A, and lots of artwork.

Oh, and his drawing really took off!! With his Doodle Pro last summer ('08) he drew thousands of space shuttles just on our one-month camping trip. He also drew many with marker, and became an *excellent* drawing artist, in mine and many other people's opinions. He had many drawings up at the St. Paul Art Crawl, and he had his own painting booth out in the hall for the event, painting rockets for a crowd!

He also participated in the A-Z Gallery Art Show - he entered a drawing of Atlantis, I think.

He learned a lot about chemistry and physics by asking friends and relatives about rocket fuel, propulsion, etc.

He has been saving up change he finds around the house, to help us pay for a trip to Cape Canaveral.

He got a huge package in the mail from a family friend who works for NASA - got tons of merchandise.

Pretending to be an astronaut was his favorite passtime for over a year. He had a space suit we found for $6 at the thrift store (see photo at bottom of blog). He wore it almost *every day*, and developed his acting and "hamming" skills. He also obviously attracted plenty of attention and got into *many* fascinating conversations with adults about space shuttles, space, etc..

More recently, he exchanged letters with Bob Cabana, director of Kennedy Space Center. He wrote Bob a letter that I think was about 4 pages (dictated). Bob also sent him all kinds of photos, stickers, etc. (Turns out Bob is the son of a couple my parents know).

He took a NASA class last spring. He was too young for the class, but they let him in because he was so enthusiastic. This also led him to take "Blow it Up!" - a class at the Science Museum of Minnesota this summer.

Oh, and also last winter he started saying he wanted to learn math "because you need math to be an aerospace engineer." So he started asking lots of math questions, and we got him a workbook.

He also got into some great music and movies that had to do with space. Two of his grandparents bought him "Hail, Columbia!" for the holidays last year, for example, and for a long time he was really into the song "Rocket Ship" and would go around the house singing it. Oh, and he also got really into the religious song "On Eagle's Wings" after watching a sad video about the Columbia explosion set to music.

Oh! And I almost forgot - he started learning to read by trying to read the names of the space shuttles, and needing to retype them into the box on YouTube.

That's all I can think of right now, on a very distracted Monday morning. But I think so far it's a great list - and it shows how one thing can lead to another if a child isn't distracted from going in whatever direction he chooses!

Whole Child/Whole Parent Inspiration!

2009-09-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

Here is an awesome quote I just came across in a book I just finished - Whole Child/Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends. It's a very good book, about 20 years old, I think, but it is occasionally *too* enlightened for my own comprehension level. However, I have gotten some fabulous ideas and inspirations from it.

For example, here's the essence of unschooling, right here, from p.129 (italics are in the original):

The learning child unconsciously assumes two things that are crucial to learning. The first assumption is that there is nothing standing between him and happiness but what he hasn't learned yet. At least for a while, he does not think that having or doing something else would be nicer. As long as he's learning he's happy. He lives to find out. The second assumption is that whatever comes along next is the next thing he needs to learn. He does not doubt the fulfilling nature of life. These two assumptions are crucial to receptivity. And receptivity is crucial to learning.

I think I will tattoo this on my forearm: "Whatever comes along next is the next thing I need to learn."

Just imagine not having lost that assumption! It's time for me to re-assume it.

Fall, Revised

2009-09-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

Alrighty then! It's official, we are *out* of the homeschool co-op classes for fall, and I have to admit to being a little relieved. For some reason it was starting to feel a little too school-y for me, anyway.

After I made my list yesterday, I asked Ezra what else he'd like to learn and after some discussion he said he wanted me to teach him some Spanish. (This came up because the class that was too full for him to get into included a Spanish class.)

I have to admit a part of me dreads this, but OTOH I've been feeling really angry at myself for letting my Spanish slide so badly for the last 8 years. So, we're off! I've decided to try and do Spanish tomorrow morning while we're waiting for the milk man.

Managing Fall Semester

2009-09-21T08:07:00.000-07:00

Fall is the time of year when all the neurosis comes out in homeschooling families, in my experience. Suddenly you feel like you are supposed to be signing your kid up for a million activities, just like everyone else. Supposedly, anyway.

Well, I missed this frenzy period once again this year, because of moving around Labor Day.

We did get in on the local Homeschool Co-op startup, though, but we are currently in the position of deciding whether or not we will try to continue this fall, or wait until January, when a new semester begins. I am leaning towards waiting until January, due to the fact that bringing Ottar along has been way too challenging for my ability levels right now. And also Ezra was put in a class that is for 4.5-6 year olds, and he is going along with it but not enjoying it to the degree that he is willing to participate in it on his own (with me dropping him off). So, I am thinking of things we could do this fall as True Unschoolers!

Ezra did start "Little Ninjas" last week - a martial arts class. He's wanted to do martial arts for a long time, so I was very excited when I saw this class being offered.

The other things Ezra said he wanted to learn this fall are: archery, blacksmithing, and art.

I can't find him an art class so far, so I think we'll do that at home. And I also can't find a kids' archery class, but I am trying to figure something out. And there is at least a one-day blacksmithing workshop we've found that he can take with one of his parents.

As parents we have also decided to take the opportunity to look at Ezra's "first grade year" as a chance for us to gain some of the skills we are bitter that we never learned, ourselves! So, for this year we are going to work on a variety of skills as a family. Included among them, for the record:

-woodworking projects
-sewing lessons
-"handy" projects, such as fixing the screen Ottar just wrecked
-beekeeping workshop (I've always wanted to do this!)
-hunting skills (my husband is going to work on this with a friend)
-gardening
-patio construction
-knitting
-woodcarving

Well, that's it for now! I just wanted to write some stuff down before I forgot. Once again, too bad I don't have a digital camera right now, to spruce up this barren post.

Counting Votes

2009-09-16T11:32:00.001-07:00

photo by Leo Kim

Everyone say "aye" if you think it would be a good idea if I actually had a digital camera, so I don't have to cut and paste pics of my kids off other people's Facebook albums.

So Help Me God

2009-09-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

I will get *this* house organized. This is our fifth move since Ezra was born and I am ***done*** living a life of organizational misery. Especially since there is another move on the horizon . . . probably within a year or two.

Luckily, during my ill-fated attempt to actually be able to browse at the local library (only 3 blocks away, I think! If I actually go directly there instead of biking a mile out of the way looking for it.) I happened upon the above video in the kids' section, when I wasn't even looking for it! Divine intervention, for sure. Especially evident because I was unable to even attempt the 2nd floor adult section due to Ottar's need to run willy-nilly through the library, carrying one of those cool metal stools.

Anyway, I already almost cried several times during the video, and I'm only a little more than half done. This woman, Julie Morgenstern, is like an angel from heaven sent to save me from myself.

Of course I will keep this blog (and my other blog, Organizing Is Easy, I hope) updated on my amazing progress.

Also, I think that watching this video is a MUST for all homeschooling families. Really. Unless you are one of those people who has it all together, like Mariah.

Break Time

2009-08-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

I'm sure at least one person out there is going NUTS wondering, "Why aren't there more posts on Unschooling is Dreamy lately?"

The reason is, we are trying to move.

We finally settled on a house last night, exactly 8 days before we are scheduled to leave Minnesota for Wisconsin. Now we just have to find a moving truck!

Here is a picture to tide everyone over while we are going through this upheaval.

Oh, whoops. It posted at the top. Oh well. It's a picture from our month-long camping trip last summer.

Bye!

An Awesome Video - Art or Physics or Chemistry?

2009-08-12T17:22:00.001-07:00

This video is amazing. Only about a half an hour. You can get it from First Run Films. It's actually an art film, but the entire film is watching physics/chemistry as an installation. Here is a more clear definition of it from Wikipedia:

The Way Things Go (German: Der Lauf der Dinge) is a 1987 art film by the Swiss artist duo Peter Fischli and David Weiss. It documents a long causal chain assembled of everyday objects, resembling a Rube Goldberg machine.

The machine is in a warehouse, about 100 feet long, and incorporates materials such as tires, trash bags, ladders, soap, oil drums, and gasoline. Fire and pyrotechnics are used as chemical triggers. The film is nearly 29 minutes, 45 seconds long, but some of that is waiting for something to burn, or slowly slide down a ramp.

The film evolved out of work the artists did on their earlier photography series, "Quiet afternoon," (German: Stiller Nachmittag) of 1984-1985. As the delicately unstable assemblages they constructed for the photos were apt to almost immediately collapse, they decided that they wanted to make use of this energy.^[1] The film may also have been inspired by the video work of fellow Swiss artist, Roman Signer. The artists undoubtably saw his video work which was exhibited at the Kunsthaus Zürich in 1981.^[2] Signer's videos often document objects performing simple actions that are the result of physical phenomena.

And here's a little video "teaser".

Anyway, this video is great entertainment for adults. However, it is rated G, and so I let my kids watch it. My 2-yo especially loves it - they get to watch one video every Wednesday and he always begs for it to be The Way Things Go.

Of course, it just so happens to be educational - but it's accidental, so it brings up questions about what the materials are, etc. without answering them (thank God). But it is quite an inspiration, IMO. Makes me want to go build my own weird obstacle-course/installation-type thing.

Unschooling-Friendly Zines

2009-07-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

While supplies last, click on the image of Misfit Zine at the top of the blog to order your very own copy of my unschooler-friendly zine!

This zine has received rave reviews, but unfortunately, I have limited quantities left because I have decided to take my cartooning and writing to a new website I'm building, instead!

If you go to my etsy shop and see that my zines are gone, feel free to let me know and I can sell you some directly over email.

Enjoy!

Oh, and P.S. let me know if you know of any other unschoolers who do blogs, please.

Stress, Money, and Unschooling

2009-07-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. It seems that the "recession" is finally affecting us. Not only did my husband have to take an out-of-state job he is totally overqualified and underpaid for, but now he's got a 2-month space between jobs, is ineligible for unemployment, and we have no insurance and a son who likely has Lyme disease. With the upcoming move to Wisconsin almost upon us, I feel like quoting an excellent book I just read, called Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain by Sharon Begley:

It has been well documented that adversity ratchets up parents' levels of anxiety. Worries about being unemployed, about losing housing, about where the next meal is coming from do nothing good for parental care. To the contrary, the anxiety and depression that trying conditions induce tend to make parents harsh and inconsistent disciplinarians, even neglectful and abusive. (This is not to say that all parents who live in poverty, in illness, or in dangerous conditions react this way). This is precisely the kind of parenting that can enhance a child's stress reactivity, explains Meaney: "The anxiety of the parents is transmitted to the children." Being poor, jobless, or homeless induces a physiological stress response in adults, which is somehow transmitted to the children. Although that "Somehow" remains to be worked out in detail. Meaney's two decades of studies on how maternal behavior in rats influences the temperament of their offspring points in one direction: parental behavior may alter the expression of genes in their children. In this way, says Meaney, "the effects of poverty on emotional and intellectual development in children are mediated by the parent."

Really, I just like this quote because it makes me feel better because a. it makes me feel like it's NO WONDER I'm stressed and crabby with the kids sometimes. And b. it reminds me of why I have no interest in living hand-to-mouth anymore. That was okay for the last fifteen years, but I'm all done with that now, thank you.

Last summer we were homeless, somewhat voluntarily, but it wasn't until the last few weeks, when we really didn't know where we were going to go next, that we suspected it might be affecting the kids in a negative way. Of course so much depends on the perceptions of the parents. I intend to ride this "problem" out smoothly. I've got a good handle on the packing, and although we have not signed a lease for our new place, we have a good feeling about it. And it looks like I'll be going back to work one way or another, and that's okay, too. Kind of exciting, really.

I don't really feel like writing about unschooling today, because first and foremost on my mind is "how on earth are we going to pay rent?" But maybe that's an extracurricular lesson in itself. If I have a good attitude about it, I could even discuss it with my six-year-old. Having read Rich Dad, Poor Dad (with an open mind), I think it might be a fun activity for us to brainstorm ways to come up with the $3500 we think we will need over the next two months. Fun, fun, fun!

My Blog Won an AWARD!

2009-07-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

I won an Honest Scrap Award!!

This is the first award I've won since the 1980s!

I got this award from writer Carrie Pomeroy, of Riding Shotgun and Play School fame! I am so honored!

This award is given to bloggers who:

1) write soul-bearingly, thus exposing themselves to possible ridicule
2) have blogs that are "brilliant" in either content or design

<<*blushing*>>

All recipients of the award are asked to list ten honest things about themselves. I think I can do that:

1. I named this blog Unschooling is Dreamy in order to manifest a dreamy life. At the time of its inception, we had just moved into our loft apartment after a summer of homelessness. It was hard enough to exist, but on top of that I had the sudden panic of "oh my god, I just realized I am totally responsible for my child's entire education - what have I DONE??"

Fortunately I quickly got over this, as soon as I realized every parent in the world actually has the same responsibility, ultimately. I'm just one of the lucky few who knows it.

So far, this blog has done its job of helping me keep on the straight and narrow with my positive unschooling thoughts.

2. Most of the time I have absolutely no idea why I am doing this blog. Sometimes when I'm driving in my car, I remember something I wrote on here and I am mortified. Then I come home and delete it. If I remember.

3. I have been paying the library about $100 per year in fines. I used to feel that at least this was a donation to charity; however I was just informed that it goes into a giant pool of taxpayer money, and probably goes to fund highways or something. And I don't even *like* highways.

4. I absolutely cannot stand it when someone hands me an eating utensil with a sticky handle.

5. I love hypocrisy. It just goes to show you how adorable people can be.

6. I also love Tootsie Rolls, candy corns, and Twizzlers. What these all have in common is that they are all solely made up of some kind of sugar, some kind of wax, and some kind of artificial color. Pure poison!

7. I hate having to read blogs online. I did a zine for 8 years because I love to work with actual real, tangible things. I miss zining already! But I don't miss doing all that work and losing money and having nobody read them.

8. My "what I could have been" career is a rock musician. And maybe also a Flamenco dancer. I have no talent or experience in either of these things in my "real life." But that's okay. I'm figuring it out.

9. I used to bite my toenails when I was little. Now my son does it, too. It really horrifies my husband, but actually I get a little misty, myself. He's a real chip off of me.

10. I believe that almost any problem can be solved by a long walk along the water's edge and a cup of coffee. Or alternately, a 90-minute yoga class and a couple of dirty Tanqueray martinis.

Also, I as an Honest Scrap recipient, I must pass the award on to other blogs . I therefore nominate Soulemama, which is an awesome crafts/family/photography/unschooler blog I check in with whenever I need a little inspiration. I think it's brilliant in content *and* design, and I also love how its author, Amanda Soule, is willing to so casually share so much of her family life with strangers.

I also nominate a new blog I found called Unschool Days, which has lots of bad-ass political unschooler attitude woven in and amongst the regular stuff. The best is her letter of resignation from a New Jersey school district.

And now, I'm off to bask in my own awesomeness.

Ceramics at Last

2009-07-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well, after 6 years of being without a clay studio, I finally had to break down and let Ezra learn how to do ceramics from *someone else*. He asked to take a clay class, and I had really wanted to teach him myself, seeing as I have 27 years of clay experience under my belt. But was I really going to go dig out all those supplies in some relative's storage unit? Or drive the little breakables all the way to North Minneapolis to be fired? No, fortunately I was saved by Eileen Cohen, ceramist extraordinaire, who happens to live in the building next door and has many more credentials than even I have - which is a relief. I feel that Ezra is in good hands.

As an extra bonus, she gave him some clay to take home early, to "practice" and so I got to be the first one to show him how to make things, after all. First he wanted to do a tiny little mug (we had less than a pound of clay) and then he made a little cat sitting on a stool. Very cute! I feel fulfilled, and now Ezra gets to take a whole class from a real pro.

Being Happy vs. Being Right

2009-07-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

The circus came to town last month - and parked right outside our window. I thought it would be really exciting to take the kids to Cirque du Soleil - after all, I've always wanted to go myself, and Ezra has been enrolled in circus classes off and on for a couple of years. (I admit I live vicariously through him - I wish I were a fire dancer!)

Once we saw that the tent was blocking our view of the Mississippi, however (and the view is one of the main reasons we moved into this apartment), and were informed that the music would be very loud, and would last 'til 10:30 p.m. almost every night for 8 weeks, and once we realized that they specially positioned the spotlights to shine right into our bedroom windows all night long. . . well, I thought maybe we should all get tickets for free.

My husband went to a meeting, where he was placated by some superior-types, and told that such a request "sounded reasonable." He was also told they'd adjust the lights.

But no such luck - we soon received word that all St. Paul "neighbors" would receive 50% off the tickets - even people who live far enough away that they are not affected by the noise, traffic, lighting, or view blockage. We had a few days to act on this discount deal. The days ticked by. I had been planning on writing a heartfelt letter to someone - but to whom?

Finally, I realized that holding out for my free tickets could take another month, drive me insane, and end up fruitless. Yes, it's true, I could work on manifesting the tickets, but I tried manifesting big things last summer and I just ended up homeless.

So, I decided I'd rather be Happy than Right. I just bought tickets for myself and my six-year-old. I feel guilty not taking my almost three-year-old, but the children's tickets are $29 each, even with the discount and not including the "shipping" fee (of emailing it to me) or whatever other surcharges they slap on there.

For this I will deprive myself of a haircut, a lot of coffee, and many other things. But I just had to go and see the circus. I might be a doormat, but at least I can look out the window for the next five weeks and have an association with a show, and not just a big, imposing tent.

Toy Removal, The New Addiction

2009-07-07T19:01:00.000-07:00

First we put a bunch of toys away in our new storage unit. Then I kept sending my husband over with more loads of them. Mind you, it's been 2 or 3 months and the kids haven't even noticed. Now we have so many fewer that we can actually keep them all picked up!! And I'm packing up even more. . . little by little we are returning to sanity and I think there is no coincidence. . .

Mama's Adventures

2009-07-01T16:05:00.001-07:00

Hmmm. . . Just found this post in the Drafts.

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Well, I already have so many requests for what to post on - but I have to begin somewhere.

I will post someday about the process of unschooling I've been going through since college.

But for now I'm going to describe what's been going on around the house lately - as far as me.

Last fall we moved into an artists' co-op. Partly, I must admit, we did this because the apartments are huge and gorgeous and you can ride bikes in them and hang swings and ladders from the ceiling. But mostly we did it because I felt like I needed to pull myself together as an artist, and the time was *ripe* - now or never, it seemed. And it has turned out to be an excellent decision - one we almost didn't make on account of our children "needing" a yard and a neighborhood, but now I can definitely see how this place, and the people in it, and the experiences they are having living downtown, are just as beneficial. Not to mention that I am *not* going insane, which I definitely would have otherwise.

Anyway, next month is the Spring St. Paul Art Crawl. We moved in just before the fall one, so I did not participate, though I easily could have, I now see! I decided to set some goals for myself for participating in the art crawl as a cartoonist and zinester. I have not participated in any art shows or sales (save one extremely depressing zine show) since before Ezra was born, and my medium was always clay - and now it's paper.

So, I've been sort of frantically trying to figure out what to make, how I'm going to get it done, and how I can possibly pull it off with a 7-year-old Mac, a semi-broken printer that was not meant for artwork reproduction, and a broken scanner (now replaced, thank God!)

The process of zine-making (especially my zine) is extremely time-consuming and crazymaking. And I'm trying out a lot of new "products" as well - t-shirts, matchbook notebooks, greeting cards, little cartoon books, blank books, and whatever else I can crank out before April 24. Fortunately I'm sharing my display space (a.k.a. our home) with my friend Brie from Viroqua - she is going to make "eco-friendly wearables" which will help fill the vast amount of space we have in here.

****************************
I feel so wistful. I am going crazy now. What happened? Well, the art crawl was not all that I had dreamed. Somehow the disappointment over not being able to get done what I wanted to get done (only ended up getting done an "almost-double issue" of my zine, and a little book about cats that was ill-received by everyone but ONE enlightened shopper. *Sigh*.

But we have just found out we are moving to Wisconsin. . . so, time to regroup and reassess! I am excited to decide what the next segment of my life will be about. The singleness of purpose (relatively speaking) since moving into this downtown co-op has been extremely invigorating. I can't wait to see what I'll move on to next!

Teaching Oneself to Read

2009-06-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

I have a little bit to add about Ezra teaching himself to read this winter, through Tintin comics and Captain Underpants books. Some things I have observed are that he has hardly ever struggled to sound out a word and has asked few questions as he has gone along. This got me to thinking as I was chatting with a friend about it, that maybe with no pressure, no shame, and no degrading reading materials (as in "see Dick run"!) kids can just smoothly glide into reading, which means that all reading programs, curriculums, etc. are a bunch of "hooey" as some of my elders like to say.

What is the point of "see Dick run" anyway, except to convince you you can't read anything *real*?

My sister listened to Ezra reading Captain Underpants aloud to his cousin at a family reunion two weeks ago, and she came by and said, "He reads as well as *you*!" This was obviously a slight exaggeration, but it made me realize that he hasn't struggled at all. He just devours these cartoon books. He can figure out the "hard" words because of the context. Also, I read some of the books to him before he reread them on his own. I have heard of many, many unschooler kids starting to read voraciously through comic-book reading (mostly boys) and sometimes they don't start until they are teenagers, but when they do start they learn extremely quickly, usually without anyone realizing it, as Ezra did.

It all gets me to wondering about "learning disabilities" with reading. I am "lucky" by most people's standards, in that Ezra is an "early reader." (My husband and I were also reading before kindergarten, and we spend much of the day reading as adults, too, so I think it is hardwired into him). However, I was totally prepared for him to start reading at 11 (as Joseph Chilton Pearce recommends) or even later. (I suppose Ottar could be a late reader, though I am guessing he will read early, too, as everyone in our families has always seemed to.) In any case, I wonder if "learning disabilities" are not only just a result of trying to force all kids to read by age 8 (as many unschoolers/homeschoolers have asserted) but are also a result of pressuring kids to the point that they believe they are stupid, which makes reading seem harder than it really is. I can definitely see how this could happen, because I developed the belief that I was "stupid" about math when I was in eighth grade. I'd always been an "advanced" math student, but that year I had an uninspirational teacher, and was introduced to algebraic concepts that I could not connect with real life. I lost interest, and after that I never cared about, or was good at, math again. In high school I dropped out of precalculus after getting a "D" (even though I was a B+/A- student). Even now when people discuss most kinds of math, or algebraic concepts, my entire brain shuts down. I literally can *not* do the work.

So, my unsolicited advice to all unschooler/homeschooler parents is to never try to teach your kids to read, period. Just read things to them and leave all the books available to them, and eventually they will latch onto something that interests them enough that they will "have" to read in order to know more. For more inspiration on this subject, I often refer people to the book The Call to Brilliance, which is a book about an unschooler family with three kids all in their twenties at the time of the book's publication. All the kids are "successful" by U.S. standards, and none learned to read until 11 or 12 at the earliest. They were all in college by the time they were 15, if I remember correctly.

http://www.amazon.com/Call-Brilliance-Inspire-Parents-Educators/dp/0977836908

A Very Short Post about Pirates

2009-06-07T09:49:00.000-07:00

Ezra and Ottar go through pirate phases. I regret that I do not have photos of the three-day phase Ezra was in last week, where he drew bloody bullet holes all over his and his brother's body.

But here's a photo of several weeks ago when they were out playing in the hall of our apartment building.

Indoor Gym

2009-06-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

I think I mentioned a long time ago that my kids spend a lot of time doing gymnasium and circus activities in our loft apartment. This winter they did this for hours a day. As you can see from the photos, we have plenty of space! Unfortunately the fast-action setting on my film camera did not work, but I guess now at least you can see how *fast* they go. Ezra's favorite thing is to jump off the couch and swing across the apartment to the wall. Ottar here is pictured with one leg each through a ring. Then I push him really high, like he's on a swing at the playground, except his feet almost touch the ceiling lamp. Fun!!

By the way, that strange thing lying on the futon underneath the kids is a shark. Oh, and the rope ladder and rings are from IKEA.

A YouTube Education

2009-06-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, I admit it - somewhere along the line, to keep myself from going insane, I introduced Ezra to YouTube. Or actually, maybe my husband did it? Anyway, it was probably about a year ago and we were just discovering it ourselves. How much fun we all had looking up our favorite segments of Sesame Street and The Muppets!

Anyway, that's how Ezra got into rockets and space shuttles - one of us decided to show him a launch. I think it was me, and that I did it to keep him quiet while I tried to get his brother down for a nap.

Let me please explain that I am pretty much against children using computers. Oops! Well, never mind my values. . .

So, Ezra is a YouTube junkie, sort of. He got a little carried away, in our opinion, so we went down to one day a week (he chose Sundays) where he can watch YouTube on his own. It is of course tricky because there is some creepy stuff on there - porn mixed with children's content, swearing and incest inserted into Ezra's favorite Christmas video, etc. etc. But for the most part it's been a huge learning tool.

The cool thing is, when he is interested in something, he can obsess over it via youtube for months! Watching the same launch over and over again, for example. Or more recently, watching everything about The Wizard of Oz that is on there - his recent favorite was a school play from the 90's. The songs were unbearable to listen to from the kitchen, but he and his brother couldn't get enough. Yes, that's right, I admit that, too - sometimes Ottar sits around watching YouTube also. Because he usually doesn't nap! And we live in a huge open loft apartment. Oh well.

But the cool thing is, when he was asking me about kilns, I found him some footage. Then we watched a video about welding, and one about blacksmithing. Now he is really interested in all those things (FIRE).

When people tell me their kids aren't interested in anything specific, I wonder if it's just because they aren't let loose on YouTube.

Raising Hikers

2009-06-05T18:04:00.000-07:00

Ottar loves to do everything without pants!

I am a little bit obsessed with making sure my kids bond with their Earth Matrix*, I will admit. And I am proud to say that in the past month they have often spent up to nine hours straight running around the Minneapolis or St. Paul parks or nature areas. Usually it's more like 5 or 6, but still - that's pretty crazy, I think.

Anyway, we also went up north over Memorial Day weekend - to Naniboujou Lodge where we have been going since I was about 14 years old. My dad planned a couple of hikes - one to Devil's Kettle, which is kind of like a waterfall but is maybe officially a gorge?? Hmmm. . . need to find that out. Anyway, the next day we did one of my favorite hikes, which is to Eagle Mountain, south of Grand Marais. All in all the kids (and their same-aged cousins) hiked seven miles over two days. I say, that is pretty impressive! I actually had to talk Ottar out of taking a fork in the path that would have led him another 12 miles on the Superior Hiking Trail (but oh, we do have big plans to hike that someday!).

Both of my kids are very at home in the woods or on a beach, etc., but especially Ottar, either because of his age or his temperament (or his proximity to the ground?) loves to stop and observe various things along the trail before moving on.

I guess maybe all that running around the parks during the day, and all the crazy, crazy biking they've also been doing (soon to be the subject of another post) has paid off because I think they now both have Legs of Steel.

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*Bonding with the Earth Matrix is a concept I learned about in Joseph Chilton Pearce's Magical Child, one of my favorite books. He says first the child must bond with the Mother Matrix in the first year of life - or else! The second year is for bonding with the Earth Matrix - or else again! Very compelling, but too much to explain here. Interestingly he says it is often traditionally the father's job to help the child bond with the earth in the second year of life. :)

The New Favorite Baby!

2009-05-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

My kids love babies - especially Ottar, who thinks and talks about his favorite babies all the time. But lately Ottar met a new baby who is his all-time favorite. And that is saying a lot! He's baby Shamore, who our friends Mark and Josie just adopted from Ethiopia. He is so cute, it hurts my heart to even look at him. And it's not just his looks - he is one amazing baby. Anyway, he has some kind of amazing karmic energy or something. Even Ezra begged to hold him and Ezra never asks to hold babies. Then the next day after we met him, Ezra said, "Shamore is the cutest baby in the whole world!" as soon as he woke up!

We are also getting some serious mileage out of this boy. Now I can say, "Ottar, don't you want to use the tray on your highchair, just like Baby Shamore?" (He hadn't accepted his high chair tray in over a year. But now he loves to use it!) And also I say, "How about if you ride in the grocery cart - I bet Baby Shamore rides in the grocery cart!" And now Ottar will ride in it for the first time in his life! Hooray! I guess this little 7-month-old is Ottar's idol.

This weekend we'll see Baby Shamore again, and hopefully this will result in more of this type of manipulative inspiration on my part. But better than that, we'll be able to hang with this darling little man. We'll feel so honored.

The Messy House Excuse.

2009-05-12T16:09:00.000-07:00

Please let the record show that I have an excellent reason for having an unbelievably out-of-control house.

Here's a perfect example. Today, we got home from an unschooler gathering a couple of hours ago. Ottar is overtired but I don't want him to nap because when he naps he stays up until 11 or 12 at night and I refuse to stay up with him! So, he walked right in the door and knocked a plastic cup of water on the floor, and emptied the recyling all over my office. Then he was calm for about 40 minutes, but then announced that he'd swallowed a penny. Then I gave him sardines to eat (they're slippery) and had him help me make a banana "licuado." After this meal he poured water all over the floor from a water bottle, threw markers all over the floor from two different containers, and stuck his hand in the Chili Mac that was out on the table (something I'd tried to get him to eat earlier) and threw it all over the floor, and then dipped his hand again and threw more before I had a chance to stop him. He immediately ran off to jump on the beds with chili mac all over both hands, and when he came back, his hands were mysteriously clean.

Did I mention that I already had to take the kitchen broom away from him because he was trying to clobber his brother over the head with it? And I just stopped him from knocking the 10' tall, 15' long bedroom screen over onto the beds. I am sure I forgot something.

I just had to write that all down so I wouldn't forget. Now I have to go see what is going on in there while I type. Tomorrow I will post the inspirational story from John Holt - or a story I used to find inspirational from John Holt - about how kids in other countries don't do any of this stuff.

The Wicked Witch

2009-05-12T08:12:00.001-07:00

I finally have the technology for uploading Ezra's pictures, but my attempts to upload some rocket pictures failed. So for now, here is a picture of the Wicked Witch of the West he drew two days ago.

The Wizard of Oz - A New Phase

2009-05-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

It's been almost exactly a year since Ezra's rocket obsession started, and he still loves rockets and plays with them and says he wants to be an aerospace engineer; however the latest fad in our home is dressing up like The Wicked Witch of the West.

This photo is actually of his *old* costume - his new one is a full-length woman's skirt which he wears up around his neck. Then he asks someone to throw water on him, at which point he re-enacts the scene in the movie where the Wicked Witch melts. I think he's done this about 200 times. His favorite activity now is to go out in the hall with Little Brother, who wears a black strappy cocktail dress over his clothes, and carries a huge blue kitchen broom. Then they wait for passers-by in our building to comment, scream, run away, etc.

Great fun!

The End of Chaos!

2009-04-27T15:29:00.000-07:00

Well, the chaos is all over now, and our lives are all going to be dreamy and blissful heretofore.

The art crawl is over, and with it, my obsessive need to finish dozens of art projects. Most of them I ended up dropping within a few days of the Crawl anyway, as I have always been one to underestimate my own limitations - but now that I have children it's gotten much worse.

But anyway, I did get the bare minimum done, with lots of help in childcare, cleaning, editing, and tech support. And now I am treating myself to an early summer (I've decided) of reading and learning to knit (for the fourth time.) I refuse to do anything else!

Ottar got to spend the weekend with Bubbie and Papa, for the most part, and that was good for everyone. Ezra got to run around the building and hang around with his "fake cousins" whose mother was my art partner. He also spent a *lot* of time socializing with friends old and new in the building - drawing, painting, and just chatting with them. I think it was a great experience for him to be able to talk with so many people who didn't have anywhere to go. Actually the traffic was pretty light this spring, so lots of people had time to spend with him. Plus he watched some theatre, listened to live music in the atrium, and hung out with Sprinkles the Clown. I heard through the grapevine that he tells people he considers himself a better artist than me. I think that is quite certainly true.

Who's there?

2009-04-17T14:06:00.001-07:00

My God, it's like an echo chamber in here. Hello? HELLO??

Going Nuts

2009-04-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have one very urgent request for discussing what I, the Mama, am doing these days. I haven't been posting because it is too luxurious. What I've been doing is getting ready for the St. Paul Art Crawl. I committed to the art crawl in January, and this was a bit crazy of me, as I had not even one thing to put on display in my studio. The art crawl is in less than two weeks now, and I have been frantically trying to finish a zine (issue 7, the last one I ever do, I hope!) and a little book about cats, and lots of random cartoons, illustrations, reprints, and whatever else I can crank out.

On top of this, I have to get the entire apartment clean, move out a lot of boxes and furniture (we have no functional bedrooms and we currently all sleep out in a pile in the corner of the apartment - not so great with 1500 people walking through) and I have to get child care for all the weeks leading up to the Crawl, as well as during it, as Ottar, a.k.a. Monkey Man, is going to need to be heavily supervised. He loves to run off on his own, toss things out our fourth story window, and draw on the floorboards with Sharpies (just for some quick examples). . .

Right now we have a 7-year old computer which I have affectionate feelings for, but which is causing us some problems. We also had a broken scanner until 2 weeks ago, a broken printer until 1 month ago, and now we are going to have to get a new scanner/printer anyway, within 3 days if I am going to participate in the crawl!

It's a little nutty around here, to say the least. Fortunately, Kenny has been willing to take the kids out every day so I can get something done here (my studio is in the hall by the bathroom, so I can't even hide when the kids are home) and some relatives have also been helpful in picking up the slack.

Wish me luck!